


My Name Is

by CHENstagram



Series: One Sheep, Two Sheep [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: F/M, FULL LIST OF WARNINGS AT THE EXORDIUM COMM IN LJ, M/M, Slice of Life, Suspense, The Last One I Swear To God, exordium, not good for the health
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-18
Updated: 2015-07-18
Packaged: 2018-04-09 23:32:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4368566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CHENstagram/pseuds/CHENstagram
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kim Jongdae's 2nd year of High School was supposed to be spent the way he always spent his days; studying to relieve his boredom and keeping his status as the #1 student in school. There weren't supposed to be murders.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Name Is

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ME MYSELF AND I BECAUSE I WORKED MY ASS OFF THIS FIC](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=ME+MYSELF+AND+I+BECAUSE+I+WORKED+MY+ASS+OFF+THIS+FIC).



> **DON'T open the spoilers if you really want to be in one hell of a ride.**  
> [Full list of warnings. ](https://the-exordium.livejournal.com/8431.html)  
>  This is more quantity than quality, to be honest. I've sworn to never write again but here I am. Enjoy.  
> Massive thanks to my betas Reeza, Ren, Addie and Cass. For being always there to tolerate my annoying ass, Ansa and Claire.  
> And Li, because I'm sure she'll demand her name to be in a seperate sentence. If not for all of you, I wouldn't even have continued this mess.  
> To the FBI, for not arriving at my doorstep for those weird Google searches. To Chen, for trying to be like the Chen in this story in real life.

► P L A Y  
[TRACK 1](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t95QYb0OA1Y)

 

 

 

> // Make me feel like I am breathing
> 
> Feel like I am human //

**  
**  


It was annoyingly sunny the day Kim Jongdae started his second year of high school.

The squinting face of a boy who looked no older than 20 emerged in the bedroom window. He looked down on the quiet neighborhood which lined brick houses left and right. It was quiet, with the only sound Jongdae could hear coming from the flat screen TV downstairs.

He shut the crimson lined curtains shut and fussed with the collar of his turtleneck. The sun was going to be unbearable today, that’s for sure.

The slight annoyance on his face passed by when his eyes spotted the stuffed toy on the wooden desk. With its blue eyes and cottony soft texture, the doll he called ‘Moomin’ never ceased to comfort him.

He grabbed Moomin by the ear, a little smile playing on his cat lips. “I have a good feeling something’ll happen today,” he said to it.

The smile was still plastered on his face when he got downstairs. His leather shoes clicked softly, and the rest of his family turned to watch him approach them at the dining table. The aura was eerily sombre, which was a shame but not unusual. His mom immediately pulled out a chair for him to sit on.

Within seconds his plate was filled with breakfast. He gracefully took one bite of the sausage. “Nice weather today.”

A cough came from his dad, whose face was obstructed from view with the daily newspaper. Quite the busy man, being the CEO of a large pharmaceutical company, Mr. Kim wasted no time at all in folding the said newspaper and setting it down gently on the table. “I need to go now, honey.” He kissed the plastered smile on his mom’s face. “Jongdae,” he nods towards him. “Good luck on your first day,” said Mr. Kim, who really meant to say, “Don’t try and disappoint me.” He set out to go to work.

“Jongdae,” his mother’s high and mighty voice rang. “Tell Principal Seo my regards.”

“Will do.” And with a last gulp of his orange juice, he sprang up from the chair. “Jongdeok?” He called out to his brother.

His brother’s fork clattered on the smooth table. Neither of them said a word as Jongdeok pushed himself from his chair and made his way out of the kitchen, completely ignoring Jongdae’s existence. Jongdeok slammed the front door shut, as if to relay how much he hated Jongdae talking to him.

“Don’t.” His mother shook her head. “Don’t mind him, sweetheart. Your brother’s a little…”

“I’m going.”

It was common knowledge that the Kim brothers didn’t get along well. One was the breadwinner and the other a black sheep. Still, Jongdae didn’t let his older brother ruin his mood.

The shed where he kept his bike was located at the backyard on a freshly-mowed lawn. All the handy tools were located inside, most of them rusty from age. His bike was something different altogether. It was refined and no speck of dirt could be seen aside from the ones around the tires. Jongdae thought it reflected its owner well.

He sat Moomin in the front basket and settled in. The morning breeze swept past him as he pedaled outwards his family residence and onto the road.

The neighbor, Zhang Liyin, flourished a wave in his direction. She was tending to the garden, an observation made by the dirt on her hands.

Jongdae blinked a little before waving back.

High school was only a half an hour away, yet Jongdae was sure he was almost late. His friends (or, as Baekhyun liked to call it, “squad”) were already there, waiting for him. Baekhyun was the first to see him, to no one’s surprise. A rectangle smile immediately formed on his puppy-like face as he announced Jongdae’s arrival to the others.

Baekhyun had been with him for four years, even before high school happened. The cheerful and loud guy was the first one to approach him back then, claiming to be his best friend already the first time they had their conversation. Jongdae was unsure, Baekhyun seemed a little bit… eccentric.

(“You thought I was crazy?!”

“You know what they say. First impressions always last.”)

He nodded at them, eyes flitting through every single face. There was Zitao, or Tao as he preferred, the one with the blunt nature. A fierce facade worn at all times with a little bit of a slip here and there. Tao was tapping his foot; impatient as he always was.

Yixing extended his hand. “I got you your timetable, Jongdae. You don’t have any classes with us.” Yixing, and as Jongdae liked to call him inside his head ‘Boring-Personality’, showed off his dimples.

“None? I’m thankful I’m saved from tutoring any of you.” He looked at the schedule written so neatly on the paper. His first class was Health Education, a mere 10 minutes away. Guess the paying of regards to the Principal might have to wait.

Yixing nudged the boy besides him with an elbow. “I’m just kidding. You have lit class here with Jongin.”

Oh. He hadn’t even noticed him until now. If you put Jongin in a group of three people, you still wouldn’t be able to notice him at first glance, which was weird because the other was a head taller than Jongdae. And Jongin didn’t talk to anyone but Yixing. Except when needed, like that one time he awkwardly asked Tao to pass the bowl of fried chicken.

Jongin’s eyes were downcast, his shyness showing. Jongdae could already foresee a class where he’s at the back, staring out the window and not listening at all to the teacher.

Jongdae smiled at Jongin, though.

“It’s not fair,” Baekhyun crossed his arms over his skinny chest. “I won’t survive Geometry at all without Jongdae’s help.”

Tao looked offended. “Excuse me? I’m your classmate and I happen to be good in math. So…”

“No?” said Baekhyun. “I don’t need your help? You’re a bad teacher?”

“You little-”

The sound of the bell chiming cut Tao’s words. Baekhyun pulled out his tongue at him to rub it in that he ‘won’. Tao shook his head and started walking away, so the rest of them did, too. It was always amusing when Baekhyun and Tao argued to disguise the underlying sexual tension that went on between them.

In health class, Jongdae’s interest lay on the birds pecking each other outside the window instead of the words of the teacher, where it should be. He already did some advance reading on the subject. And by advance reading he meant that he got all the topics covered from the summer where he did nothing but study.

A slight burp came from his right, and a deep, “Excuse me,” followed. A few seconds later a quiet chuckle came.

Jongdae ignored him, already bored by everything and everyone.

“Kim Jongdae?”

Jongdae begrudgingly removed his chin from his palm and looked forward at the teacher. He wasn’t familiar with this one. A name forgotten. Jongdae stood up though, and everyone’s eyes followed.

“I heard good things about you.” The teacher flicked his curling moustache, much to Jongdae’s distaste. He managed to smile at the compliment at least. “You topped last year’s end of the year exams and have… quite the reputation around this school."

He couldn’t help but let the smugness show on his face. “Thank you… sir. I won’t disappoint you.” And with that he sat back down on the hardwood chair.

But a snort interrupts his good mood. He’s forced to look at his seatmate on the right. Burp dude, with his tall gangly form, was looking at him with a lazy smile. “Teacher’s pet.”

Was that supposed to insult him? Jongdae raised a holier-than-thou eyebrow. But that was the only thing he did before ignoring the boy altogether. He suddenly wished it was Baekhyun annoying him instead. He could at least come up with better insults than this one.

Class almost sailed smoothly until the teacher had to make his class succumb to a higher level of boring and ordered them to bring out their books. Jongdae brought out his, clean with some sharp edges from the plastic cover.

Just his luck, his seatmate didn’t bring his. On the first day of school. As if Jongdae could care about that. He inched his book slightly to the left, drawing an invisible boundary between them.

He was all set out to ignore him again when the teacher made the worst mistake of his life by noticing it. “Chanyeol, is it? Where’s your book?”

“I left it at home,” he answered quickly with no shame.

_Not me. Not me. Not me._

His fear was realized when the teacher’s eyes shifted from ‘Chanyeol’ to him. He nodded at Jongdae, as if the first instinct to having a seat mate without a book was to share with them. Well.

Jongdae smiled even wider and nodded. He carefully moved the book to his right.

The guy had no patience, though, and tugged it to his side. “I can’t see.”

This was going to be a _long_ day.

Chanyeol’s lack of manners shouldn’t have surprised him. But his eyes went wide every time the boy instinctively licked his thumb and forefinger and moved to flip the page.

Jongdae swatted his hand away with a pen. “You’re disgusting.” Jongdae wanted to say a lot more, but he caught himself when he saw the teacher was looking at them, observing.

Jongdae sat straight up and flipped the page himself. “Hey,” he whispered in a low tone. “What’s his name?”

“Who?!” A few classmates openly stared at them.

Jongdae waved them away. “I’d appreciate it if you kept your voice down. The teacher.”

“Ahhh…” His fingers were inches away from his mouth when Jongdae’s quick reflexes stopped him. “Mr. Choi. Weren’t you listening? Some teacher’s pet you are.” And then he looked quite proud of his diss, even lifting the corners of his mouth.

Unbelievable. How could someone be so increasingly annoying every second?

Chanyeol was just watching him, though, interest in the book completely lost.

That was when Jongdae became aware of the sudden closeness between them in distance. “Do you mind? You’re closing in on my personal space.”

“Why?” He had the nerve to come closer. Jongdae’s straight eyebrows furrowed, eyes squinting with suspicion. “Do I… bother… you?” For his final move, Chanyeol tried to smirk, failing miserably.

Unimpressed with this sad attempt of a flirting, Jongdae pushed Chanyeol backwards with a pen to the forehead. “Don’t ever do that again if you know what’s good for you.”

»

Lunch rolled around and as Jongdae walked coolly over their table at the lunch hall, he stopped short. There was an extra head, an addition Jongdae couldn't care less about if not for the fact that it was that guy again. Jongdae had to curse his luck.

Baekhyun waved over-enthusiastic hands. "Jongdae!" his annoying voice called and Jongdae wanted nothing better to do than to turn back and walk away as fast as he could. "Come meet our new comrade!"

"I'm Chanyeol!" Chanyeol extended his hand for Jongdae to shake and Jongdae thought about all the germs that Chanyeol had transferred from his saliva to the said hand. "Pleased to meet your acquaintance." One of his eyes crinkled.

Jongdae's did too, but out of sheer dislike. Every eye on the table was on them. Ignoring all the pleas in his head to just run to the nearest exit and avoid this monstrosity, he put on his best goofy smile and nodded. "I'm Jongdae."

He had hoped that if he brought out his big textbook to do some light reading about his subject for the next class, they would respect his privacy but Baekhyun ended up asking his opinion about Chanyeol's pet tarantula. Pet. Tarantula.

Everyone was looking expectantly at him so he let out the fakest laugh he had ever heard, almost knocking off Jongin beside him with an elbow. If he was drinking milk, it would've been sprinting off his nose right now. "Tell me more."

Chanyeol, obviously happy that all the attention was on him, couldn't wait to do so. After three paragraphs (at least that was what it seemed like for Jongdae) about his pet's birthday party, he glanced at a still laughing Jongdae. "I'm really surprised. Jongdae was really... different when we first talked."

Jongdae waved him off. "Oh never mind that. I just had a bad morning, is all."

"Yeah," Tao said, twirling pasta around his fork. "He can honestly be a dickhead sometimes."

"But, like," Jongdae studied Chanyeol. "You're just the perfect person to own a tarantula. You probably named it George or something."

"He even treats it like a dog so I wouldn't be surprised," Yixing added. Yixing had seemed to take an interest on Chanyeol, god knows why. The boy was the epitome of 'loud', even more than Baekhyun, who seemed quiet even after finding his soulmate.

There was no mistake that Baekhyun and Chanyeol had hit it off, and Tao probably wasn't really too pleased about that. He had insulted ("It's friendly advice.") Chanyeol's fashion, hair style, and even the way he talked.

Apparently they had met somewhere in between second and third period, and after 20 seconds Baekhyun deemed Chanyeol worthy to join the 'squad'.

Jongdae found Chanyeol staring at him more often in between the seconds passing by. Whether it be Jongdae's turn to talk or his, he'd always let his eyes glance over to Jongdae's. The attraction was so obvious he wondered why Chanyeol just didn't carry a 'BANG ME JONGDAE' placard.

"What about Jongin? Do you have any pets?" Chanyeol asked.

"Jongin is a dog enthusiast," Yixing answered. "He has three dogs at home."

"Why are you answering for him? I want to hear Jongin talk."

Jongin paused in mauling his fried drumstick. "Yeah..."

Baekhyun nodded at Chanyeol. "He's not much of a talker."

Jongdae's nose crinkled. "Stop talking about him. He's right there."

"I'm sorry," Chanyeol apologized but it was to Jongdae, who didn't even need it.

Lunch passed by in silence after that, everyone just quietly eating their food. Jongdae ate his in quick bites so that he could review the whole chapter before it could get discussed later on. He didn't want to go to class unprepared. He was Kim Jongdae after all.

When the bell rang its familiar chime, Jongdae sprang up last from his seat, grabbing his doorstopper of a book. He wasn't really the last one, though, as his arm got clasped by Jongin.

Jongdae stopped. A wave of sudden heat surged throughout his body and he disentangled his arm immediately. His heart beat erratically in his chest.

Jongin was confused, and his eyes betrayed that he thought he had done something wrong. "I just... want to give this t-to you." He fumbled for something in his pocket. It was a note. "I think it was for you anyway... if th-the name is any indication."

Now that he was breathing more normally, he took the scratched paper with his trembling hands. The letter was short and forward. Random characters formed a cellphone number and the words 'Call me, Jongdae ;)'

How cute, Jongdae thought. He noticed Jongin was still standing there, with his shy demeanor and all. He supposed he should clear the misunderstanding. "Look, Jongin. I just got surprised, don't take it the wrong way."

When Jongin didn't answer, Jongdae tried a smile.

Jongin walked away though, choosing not to give any reaction. Jongdae's smile dropped as if from a ten-foot pole.

**  
**

»

The scratched paper was illuminated by the sun setting into the horizon, as Jongdae held it up for closer inspection. The rough edges to the script and ugly handwriting made Jongdae think that he wrote it privately somewhere. Maybe under the table?

Chanyeol was stupid. And loud. And everything Jongdae didn't want in a person. And yet, Jongdae could also be that kind of person. It was conflicting, his interest. He was really interested. At the base of his stomach, an unfamiliar sickening lurch streamed in. But there was also something familiar about it.

With this, Jongdae turned to a friend for advice.

"What do you think, Moomin?" His dark eyes met blue ones.

Although only silence were returned, he patted the doll on its head as he heard the answer. "He'll be my first, though, Moomin. It's making me feel nervous. But excited." He was talking like a teenage girl but he couldn't help it. It was the first time he had this interest in someone. There was just something about Chanyeol... maybe the annoying nature he had.

Jongdae wanted Chanyeol in his grasp, and when he did, he wasn't letting him go anywhere.

The first rule when you got a crush, as they said, on someone was to stalk their social media accounts. So Jongdae booted up the laptop he got for some birthday, its wallpaper displaying Moomin looking out the window.

On Facebook, he found Chanyeol's profile easily. He was a bit popular, with his pinned post of him playing guitar getting a thousand likes.

He shouldn't be surprised, really, when an album with his pet tarantula titled "My Little One :D" popped up. Jongdae scrolled past all the disgusting spider pics, most of them with bad lighting. Chanyeol was not fit to be a photographer, that was for sure. Another pet who looked like a ferret was squished inside the album with its own 2 photos, obviously not fortunate enough to get its own solo album.

Past all that tragedy, the rest of Chanyeol's photos were just him posing with the same pose and same Instagram filter, just different places. What a tool.

Jongdae smiled when he got to the About page, though. Was this written by a 12 year old? Skipping past some emo band lyrics, Chanyeol actually revealed his address and phone number. Did this person not get The Stranger Talk from his parents?

His research was cut short when his phone beeped. He was almost disappointed that it wasn't even Chanyeol, but Baekhyun. But then he remembered Chanyeol didn't even have his phone number. He should really send that text soon.

_He won't shut up about you._

_Make him stop._

_I'm sorry JD you have to be the sacrificial goat here. I sent him your number. Now we can go back to talking how Tao sucks._

_Buying you that ice cream I swear!!_

Irritation bubbled inside his head as he read each text from his self-proclaimed 'best friend' Baekhyun. Was he that willing to give private information like that? Screw the ice cream, Baekhyun was going to get it.

His eyes lazily swept over to Moomin right beside the laptop. An incessant reminder to get his shit together and just get on with it. Why not try to see if it worked out?

A few short words... and sent.

His relief was short-lived when he saw the time and realized he was going to be late for work. A curse ready at his mouth, he grabbed his trench coat from the wooden hanger. His boss was amusing when he was angry and all, but the overtime punishment was not. Packing Moomin inside his bag, he set out the door.

And crashed on his mom. His mom stumbled, but she straightened herself when she saw Jongdae. She blinked furiously, her breathing ragged. "Sorry," she mumbled. Jongdae just nodded and went out the house.

 

 

»

The bells on the near-rundown bookshop signaled his arrival. He made his way past the stacks of a new teenage romance novel and the non-fiction aisle in the middle.

"Great. You're here. You have no idea how happy I am to see you," his co-worker, Kyungsoo, greeted. Kyungsoo had an emotional range of a teaspoon so Jongdae wasn't sure if he meant that or not. He pushed the box on his hands on Jongdae's. "Get this to the back room. Junmyeon's there waiting for you."

The boss (a term Kyungsoo never uses), was Junmyeon, a middle aged man with an angelic face and motherly nature.

Jongdae smiled at Kyungsoo in return, then continued to make his way to the back room.

"Hi, Krystal," his cheery voice acknowledged the brunette from behind the cash register.

"Looking good as always, Jongdae," said Krystal without looking up from the stacks of books at the counter. "That'd be thirty-thousand won." The name on the tag pinned on her shirt was scratched out, her real name 'Soojung' replaced with 'Krystal'.

The back room was dimly lit by a single light bulb on the ceiling. But still, it lit Junmyeon's features quite well. From his soft brown eyes to his round lips with an ever so slight pout. "You're late."

"First day of school, cut me some slack." Jongdae closed the door with his feet. He bent down and put down the box near the other ones. He saw Junmyeon marking a tick on the list he's holding. "You wanted to talk?"

Junmyeon nodded, and for a second he looked serious and was ready to scold him. "As your second mother, I feel like I should know how your first day of school went."

Jongdae chuckled. "You can't. Even my own mother didn't ask any questions."

Those round lips stretched into a grin. "I can't help being worried over my sons... and daughter. Speaking of son, I offered Kyungsoo a day off. He's being cranky with the stressful term in college. The customers are scared."

Understanding, Jongdae nodded. "So you want me to...?"

"Cover his shift over the weekend, yeah," he sighed. "Hopefully that's okay with you? You didn't have plans, did you?"

He’d planned to study, of course, but if this got him in good books, to excuse the pun, with Junmyeon... "Yeah, okay, sure, whatever."

"Thank you, Jongdae."

Junmyeon's mouth was moving again, perhaps to start small talk, but Jongdae wasn't a fan of it, so he turned away to change into his uniform inside the bathroom.

"Oh, by the way," Junmyeon called again and Jongdae resisted to roll his eyes. "Tell Yixing the book he wants is in stock. He's been bothering me about it all week."

Situating himself at the children's aisle afterwards, he saw Kyungsoo reshelving some of the fairytales no doubt children had tried to read and never bothered putting back where they belonged. Kyungsoo looked like he wasn't getting paid enough for this, his thick brows almost meeting in the middle.

"College that stressful?" prompted Jongdae.

"Horrible," Kyungsoo replied, his tone menacing.

Jongdae reached for some of the books himself, and he heard the low sigh of relief mixed with gratefulness coming from Kyungsoo. How many more Magic School Bus books were they gonna put up and sell even? Jongdae felt like riding one himself, somewhere far away.

**  
**

»

**  
**

"He doesn't bite! Seriously, Jongdae, Joey's harmless! We got him from Uncle--"

"--I don't care where that thing came from," Jongdae quickly said, moving away from the hand that had the spider on top of it. "Get it away, Chanyeol."

Apparently a few texts shared together was a sign that you could assault someone with a tarantula and think they'd be comfortable with that. Chanyeol looked crestfallen that his pet wasn't being well-received unlike Jongin, who’d brought his dogs and was getting all the attention.

It was the annual Pet Show day, or, as Baekhyun liked to call it, The Damn Thing Where I Don't Have Anything To Show Off In. Said person was cooing at the fluffy dog in Tao's arms. Meanwhile, Jongdae was stuck with the one with the pet tarantula.

"You can be a party pooper sometimes." Chanyeol started making kissy expressions at Joey, a sign for Jongdae to make his escape.

It was amazing how you could actually tell Jongin loved his dogs; he was making unusual faces right now. Yixing watched over them, a look of content on his face.

On the other side, Candy had had enough of Baekhyun's face in front of her and she jumped out from Tao's arms and ran away from the both of them.

Baekhyun put his hands over his hips, watching as Tao chased his pet. "Why is it even a good idea to host this in the second week of school?"

Chanyeol, realizing he was being blatantly ignored, set off to find other people who might find his pet interesting.

Jongdae bent and grabbed the collar around Monggu's neck. Monggu was one of Jongin's dogs and he looked at Jongin for permission. Jongin just nodded, too busy being licked by another one. Jongdae then cradled the dog on his arms, its fur getting all over his clothes.

Monggu squirmed and barked fiercely.

"Hey, stay still," Jongdae ordered. When it didn't, he turned to Jongin for some help. "Your dog doesn't like me."

"Monggu, come here," Jongin's boyish voice had the dog jumping away from Jongdae and to its master. "That's weird... he's... usually nice to people."

Jongdae laughed to reassure Jongin it was okay. Dogs never liked him, though.

Footsteps echoed from behind Jongdae and it was Chanyeol, a frown on his face. Thankfully, Joey was inside a fishbowl. "Hey guys," he called to them. "I need to sign some papers, so if any one of you could kindly babysit Joey for me?"

Jongdae looked back and realized, for some reason, his friends had all disappeared.

"Thank you, Jongdae!" Chanyeol shoved the fishbowl against Jongdae's chest. "I knew I could count on you. Just don't let him out, it's time for his nap, okay?"

Jongdae sighed, he was doomed to this fate. "Because the first thing I'd do is to let it out. Fine. Go."

Chanyeol gave him one last grateful look and Jongdae tried hard not to return it with contempt.

Jongdae was just one of the many students fumbling with pets around the hall. It was too noisy, with the mix of people screaming and pets making their designated noises. Jongdae was never one to like animals. His parents had never let him take care of another one after he accidentally killed his pet hamster when he was 14.

The tarantula moved inside the bowl, and Jongdae stared at it. "You're supposed to be sleeping," he said to it and immediately felt stupid doing so. He was luckily saved from feeling any worse about himself when Tao came to his view.

"Hey, Jongdae, they're looking for Chanyeol. Joey needs to enter the pet race."

Jongdae gave him a deadpan look. "Do you really think Joey can run? He's practically the equivalent of Patrick Star's pet rock in that one episode."

Tao shrugged, as if that should concern him. Candy barked at Jongdae, the pin on her fur bobbing up and down. "He entered his pet, so... Candy will win, though. Won't you Candy?"

Jongdae shook his face and took off to find Chanyeol. It was definitely not easy to carry both Moomin and a fishbowl, and he was gaining odd looks from some of the students.

Finally, he found Chanyeol panting hard, a stack of papers on his hands. He almost bumped into someone who had a snake around their shoulders. When he saw Jongdae, his face lit up like a fire in a lamp. "Thanks for taking care of him. He didn't do anything... weird did he?"

It definitely wasn't as weird as its owner. "No. It has a race to attend, though?"

"Oh, shit," he swore. "I forgot about that. Come here, Joey, son. Make your dad proud."

"You should've brought your ferret, though," Jongdae offered.

"I can't. Genevieve has an attitude. Wait-heyyyy, how did you know about that?"

"Look at the time," Jongdae waved the wrist containing a thousand-dollar watch. "I hear they're disqualifying animals who are a second late-"

Chanyeol had probably never run so fast in his life.

In the end, Chanyeol's actual placard containing 'GO JOEY' went to waste, as his pet was disqualified for going the wrong way and onto one of the male judge's legs. Tao was devastated as well when Candy refused to move and just sat still like a princess.

The one who won was a Persian cat who was running away from one of Jongin's dogs. A smug-looking freshman received the prize as Chanyeol looks at them with scorn.

"Cheer up," Jongdae told Chanyeol who was sniffling. He saw this opportunity right before his very eyes. All he had to do was grasp it. "Want some ice cream?"

Chanyeol looked up, not quite believing Jongdae was the one to insinuate it. "Li-like a d-date...?"

Christ. Jongdae's eyes turned into crescents. "Yes. Like a date."

A slight shift in the eyes and Jongdae saw that Baekhyun was watching them, wary.

»

It got tiring after a while that Chanyeol had 'left his book back home' for the nth time, always batting his eyelashes at Jongdae, hoping that the other would let them share the book. And Jongdae had no choice but to do so every single time. He got himself into this, he should reap the consequences.

"Haha, would you look at that! I left my book back at home again! Honestly, I'm so stupid!" Chanyeol then pushed his chair sideways, enclosing Jongdae in an uncomfortable space. "So, I guess you have no choice but to share with me now."

The resounding knock on the door shushed the entire class. Mr. Choi looked confused for a moment before answering the door. This distraction offered Jongdae a chance to inch away from Chanyeol's clutches.

Two pairs of feet set themselves up on stage. Jongdae eyed the newcomer. He looked foreign and classy, like he drank wine almost every night and had a closet full of Armani suits. The guy held his chin up high, a sign that he’d stand his ground and wouldn't let anyone walk over him. Even his uniform looked neat and tidy, but that was a given because he was obviously a new student.

"Class," Mr. Choi growled, a clear show that he didn't like being interrupted in the middle of the lesson. "Meet your new classmate. He's an exchange student from Beijing. Lu Han."

"How is his hair so perfect?" Chanyeol gaped.

Jongdae did a double-take at Chanyeol's open mouth. "Seriously? He looks too... effeminate." He immediately disliked the new guy. He told himself that it was because Chanyeol was so quick to show interest in this 'Luhan' dude.

“And what’s wrong with that?”

Luhan introduced himself in perfect Korean. No trace of a foreign accent at all. Almost every single girl on class at that moment eyed him appreciatively.

Mr. Choi coughed. He stared at the list which could only be Luhan's information. "Luhan has showed incredible academic achievements in his past school. He is also a very capable football player..." His distaste turned into interest in a few seconds. Mr. Choi was smiling at the very end. Really?

Chanyeol only incensed him even more. "Looks like you've got competition, Jongdae."

Luhan was throwing every single classmate a smile. Was he running for president or something? Was it necessary to do that? "Like I care," was only Jongdae's reply to Chanyeol.

He doesn't return the smile Luhan gave him, though. And with some satisfaction he saw the other's eyebrow raise at this.

"Okay, so as I was saying," Mr Choi brushed his little mustache with a miniature comb. "There's going to be a test tomorrow. Chapter 2 and 3 on your books. I expect everyone to..." Jongdae tuned him out to fold the corners of said chapters in his book, while Chanyeol watched him, amused.

To some devil's luck, that Luhan guy got seated right in front of Jongdae. Great, his big head (he meant it both figuratively and literally) would be in the way of Jongdae's studying now. The lord was doing his best to test his patience.

Jongdae put on his best charming smile, the one he knew everybody would faint over. "Chanyeol, want to study with me?"

As expected, Chanyeol was keen on the idea. "That's great! I bet you'd be a good tutor. How about we have Luhan, too?!"

Jongdae's smile froze in its place. "Uh, what?"

Luhan looked behind him when he heard his name. "You guys were talking about studying with me? Awesome. I'm obviously so far behind." He smiled sleazily in Jongdae's direction. Must not punch. Must not punch. "You wouldn't mind, would you?"

Another thing to be added to Why He Hates Chanyeol, The List: his friendliness.

What's worse was that Chanyeol decided it was a good idea to introduce Luhan to their other friends. This wasn't right. This was a breach of privacy. Did Chanyeol not at all want to ask Jongdae's opinion about all of this? He didn't want that guy at all in his territory.

Jongdae conveniently decided to limit his conversation usage whenever the topic went to Luhan. Yixing, of course, was interested, for he and Tao were also Chinese in blood. Tao, too which was a surprise because Tao hated new people. There was something wrong with this dude, he knew it.

Unfortunately, Luhan wanted to get to know Jongdae or something. "How about Jongdae?"

His facial muscles couldn't seem to force a smile on his face. Tao answered for him. "Jongdae is probably the biggest nerd in school. Self-proclaimed-to-be-valedictorian."

"Everyone agrees, though," Jongdae said coolly. Before he could say something inappropriate that could ruin everything he worked so hard for, he stood up and excused himself to the library.

Of course he didn't go immediately. He hid in the corner close to the table, where the hall led up to some stairs to the reference library and a boy's bathroom on the other side.

"I don't know what's his problem," Baek excused in a cheery voice.

He could just picture Luhan doing his annoying smile. "We all have days like that. I have a feeling I know what's bothering him, though." Jongdae almost snorted but stopped himself. It would be bad if he got discovered listening in.

"Um?" Tao's snarky voice came back, all friendliness gone. "How would you know if you just met him a few hours ago?"

"Tao," Baekhyun warned.

Jongdae didn't stick around for the answer. This was all interesting yet infuriating at the same time.

»

Legs cramped and neck all sweaty, Jongdae was starting to regret ever suggesting doing some studying over at Chanyeol’s house. He had estimated that the ride would only take an hour so he eagerly got on his bike and pedaled. It was two hours later when he saw Chanyeol’s description of a white Victorian two-storey house. He swerved and skidded to a halt at the front steps.

Chanyeol lived in a quiet neighborhood, almost deserted. Behind their house were plenty of tall pine trees. It could be a forest, or at least that was what it looked like to him.

“Hey!” Luhan waved from the front porch, smiling behind his sunglasses. Lord knows why he needed them when the sun had already set. “I just got here as well. I got lost like, what, 3 times?”

Jongdae ignored him, locking his bike and pushing back his slicked wet hair. Luhan eyed him as he grabbed the doll from the front basket, the smile staying on his face. Jongdae caught his eye. “Problem?”

“I just didn’t peg you as a man who likes… toys.”

“You don’t know me at all.”

“I want to, though.”

Jongdae had to do a double take. Was this guy hitting on him? Gross…

Luhan only smiled, and Jongdae could make out a hint of pink bubblegum inside his mouth.

The door opened without warning, surprising them both. “I told you they wouldn’t get lo-!” Chanyeol halted, almost spilling the orange juice he was holding onto his gray collegiate shirt. His eye twitched, and he turned around so fast that the juice almost tipped over them. "Dad! Theyre here, I told you they wouldn't have any trouble!"

Gestured to come in, Jongdae took off his coat and placed it on the coat hanger. Luhan did the same with his snazzy motorcycle jacket. The house was even nicer on the inside. It had a homely feel to it. Jongdae could smell something boiling.

"To be honest, I thought you weren't coming," Chanyeol told Jongdae.

Jongdae gave him that smile he really liked. "I wouldn't trade studying with your stupid ass for the whole world."

Chanyeol blushed and and Luhan laughed behind him, a sweet sound if it weren't for the fact that it came from him. "My dad just went out into the woods to do some woodwork stuff. He's not a people person. Mom and sis are out of town."  
  


"Woods?" Jongdae's interest was apparent. "Can we take a look? I haven't really visited one myself."

"Not now, Dad's hunting. I'll take you there sometime," Chanyeol promised, a twinkle in his eye.

"Only the two of us I hope," Jongdae 'muttered', louder than he’d intended.

A sound of something whistling stopped Chanyeol from getting flustered at what Jongdae had said, excusing himself to prepare the tea. "I also need to feed Joey and Genevieve, so just go upstairs to my room if you want to get started. It's the second door on the right."

Jongdae didn't really want more time alone with Luhan, but he'd be in the company of books anyway. He would just ignore his existence like he always used to. He went upstairs in the direction Chanyeol told him, letting his hand feel the wooden railing.

"Wait for me, Jongdae," said Luhan.

A pile of clothes greeted him as soon as he opened the door, and when he turned on the lights that wasn't the only pile apparently. Chanyeol had forgotten to clean up to accommodate to his guests. Jongdae kicked one aside so he could have better access to walk around.

"Can't say I'm surprised his room's messy. Is that... a Goofy mattress?"

Jongdae whipped around to see what he was talking about and indeed, Chanyeol slept on a bed covered with patterned faces of Goofy. He sat on it, moving the textbooks Chanyeol had never even brought to school away. He got out his Health Ed textbook and started studying.

"You're pretty bold," Luhan tried yet again.

"Speak for yourself," said Jongdae without looking up from his book. "I have no interest in you so stop it."

"Amazing how your attitude's done a complete 180." Luhan took off his sunglasses and pointed it at him. "Are you that whipped for Chanyeol?"

Jongdae gave him a warning glare and Luhan shrugged, dropping the topic.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, Jongdae memorizing every line and Luhan memorizing every single one of his features, it looked like. Irritation welled up inside his head, and he wanted nothing more than just to throw the guy out of the door.

He saw something out of the corner of his eye shifting behind the door, and he smiled to himself. "Luhan." Luhan's brows shot up when he realized Jongdae was talking to him. "Chanyeol. He's mine. I like him. You don't have any problem with that, right? So you better not get in our way."

Luhan's expression turned into confusion, but he didn't say anything.

A glimpse to the right showed movement so Jongdae dropped his stare back down to the book. A second later the door opened, and in came Chanyeol with a tray full of teacups and a kettle. He looked redder in the face than before. "Sorry for the wait. Genevieve's wild." He pulled on his collar. "It sure is hot in here, huh?"

Luhan was studying him. "How long have you been in there?"

"Y-you mean outside the door? No! I just got here like... a second ago." His adam's apple bobbed as he gulped.

But Luhan wasn't looking at Chanyeol anymore. Jongdae felt his stare burn on the side of his head.

With an awkward tension in the air, it was only necessary for Chanyeol to liven it up. "How about you guys read your books while I play the guitar?"

"You're kidding, right? How are you gonna learn from that?"

"Shush, Jongdae, and watch me." He reached for something beside the bed and he unzipped it, revealing an elegant looking guitar. "I call her Matilda. She's a beauty, isn't she?" And with absolutely no intention of studying at all, he plucked a string and then he was playing.

Jongdae shook his head and went back to reading his book. There was no hope for Chanyeol.

After that, when Luhan had successfully convinced Chanyeol to put down the guitar and stop playing The Radiohead's whole discography, he took his pleasure in annoying Jongdae by asking a question every five seconds. It was supposed to be cute and he knew it was just Chanyeol’s way of try-hard flirting but it was slowly getting on his nerves.

Luhan was reviewing all his past test papers and a stray one flew right onto Jongdae's lap. He picked it up and his mouth literally made an 'O' shape. "Perfect score on the entrance exam? You're better than I thought." He watched Luhan's expression, which had become indecipherable.

Chanyeol put an arm around Luhan. "Watch out, Jongdae. He could take away your throne."

"I'm sure that won't happen," he smiled, not relying on the information of how many times he had killed both of them inside his head already.

»

The test went well, Jongdae thought, as he recounted each and every question and answered them inside his head. He was pretty sure he’d got all the answers right. He had reread the topics at least five times more when he got home, skipping dinner and aggravating his mother.

When the last student had passed their paper, Mr. Choi cleared his throat. There was an unmistakable glint on his eye. "Now that that's all over, I'd like to announce your project for the quarter. It's somewhat of a contest, actually."

At the word "contest", Jongdae sat up a little straighter. Luhan turned and noticed this, giving him a lazy smile. This was the first time they'd be competing against each other, aside from that test he already knew he’d won in.

"It's an egg-sitting project," Mr. Choi exclaimed. Half of the class groaned, including Jongdae. Really? Was this middle school? "You young ones need to learn the responsibility of parenthood and how a little mistake can ruin your child's life. The pair whose egg lasts longer by the end of the week wins and gets a perfect score. I'd be handing out a box and you'll get your egg. Pair up."

Jongdae immediately slams his hand down Chanyeol's table, who was eager to nod his approval of his decision. This contest wouldn't be so bad if he won it.

Chanyeol was nodding like a stupid puppy. "You'd make a good mom, Jongdae. I still remember the time you babysitted Joey, real parenting skills right there."

The hand down on Chanyeol's table clenched a little but Jongdae forgave the slight of being called a mom, just because Chanyeol looked happy at this very moment.

"Do you think I can carry a fishbowl to protect the egg around in classes? People are going to smash our little baby, we need to protect him, Jongdae! Hmm... do you think onesies would look good on an egg? Do we make it a guy or a girl? I always wanted a baby girl."

When Mr. Choi came over Chanyeol gladly took an egg from the remaining five in the box, then the questionnaire that they had to answer. The questionnaire consisted of questions about their ideal family and the like. He almost dropped the egg from the excitement, which earned him a rightful glare from Jongdae.

They were going to be hopeless. At least Jongdae started to think so, when Chanyeol immediately named the egg "Jongdae Jr.". From what depths of hell did he take that name from?

"No."

"Hmm... how about... Eggy Azalea?" Chanyeol cracked up, one eye disappearing. "Because get it? Eggy... Iggy... gosh I'm so funny."

"Right. I actually like that." Jongdae gave him a thumbs up as he wrote the name down on the form. It was better than Jongdae Jr. at least.

They fill the questionnaire together, arguing over the smallest things. "You already made me the mom," Jongdae sighed. "Why can't I choose my own job?" He tapped on the 'Mom's occupation' line.

"But you can't just be the president of Korea! Someone like EXO's Kai probably but not you."

"It's great to know that you support me as a husband." Jongdae rolled his eyes. "What about you? A mere accountant? Really? Do you have no dreams for yourself? If I was president, I wouldn't let that happen."

"That's why you're not becoming one. Get real."

Jongdae's eyes flashed in anger, and he calmed himself by reciting the alphabet on his head. He hastily changed his answer to 'private detective' before he could think twice.

"That won't earn us much..." Chanyeol told him, pouting.

"Shut your trap or I'll just be unemployed and make you do all the work." He moved on to the next part, the egg's personality. This was going to be hellish. He knew his perspective of the world would contradict Chanyeol's.

But Chanyeol surprised him with his answer. "Eggy has to be perfect. Like, in literally everything."

"I agree," said Jongdae as he wrote it down.

That was the last thing they ever agreed on.

"You're just exaggerating, Jongdae," Chanyeol whined, putting his face on his hands. "We're not a multimillionaire family with six mansions."

"And why not?" asked Jongdae. "We already have a perfect child, so. You're so basic, Chanyeol."

"And why is she a singer not a rapper?"

"Look, Chanyeol." Jongdae faced him. It was time to tell him the hard truth. "I'm not against rapping or anything... but the world doesn't need another rapping Azalea."

Chanyeol frowned in defeat, playing with the hem of his shirt and not staring at Jongdae. They weren't the only ones having family problems, some of the pairs had started shouting to voice out their disagreement.

"Having fun, you two?" Suddenly a figure appeared in front of them. Luhan was cradling his egg by putting it against his cheek and rubbing it. Jongdae saw that it had a bowl cut drawn on its head, and some shorts to go along with it. "This is Little Fried. He's gonna be a soccer player."

Chanyeol presented their egg. "This is Eggy Azalea." His voice was filled with sarcasm as he said, "...who is basically a product of Jongdae's fantasies."

"Oh jesus," Jongdae groaned, fingers massaging his temple.

Luhan sensed the tension and excused himself to tend to his own partner, Kim Minseok, thankfully.

"Will you let me draw on her, at least?"

Jongdae didn't have much faith with Chanyeol's drawing abilities but he hesitantly gave him that opportunity. The boy looked like his dog got killed right in front of him. "Hey, Chanyeol. Answer this one. What do you wish for Eggy?"

Chanyeol, who was concentrating on drawing lopsided eyes onto the egg, answered. "The very best, of course. I want her to win this contest."

"You really mean that?"

"Of course! I want her to be the very best... like no one ever was..." He asked the kid next to him for some coloring materials.

By the end of the class a total of six 'children' were left. Most of the eggs had already been tarnished and broken, earning them a failing grade. The classroom was a whole mess full of broken eggs, a janitor's nightmare. Jongdae laughed at their misery, placing Eggy in the handsewn front pocket on Moomin.

"I'm not letting you carry her," said Jongdae to Chanyeol, who was hovering over him with extended hands.

"B-but--" Chanyeol reached for the egg but Jongdae held it away from him just in time.

"See you in court," he said with finality.

Sure, Jongdae got weird stares for always carrying Moomin around. For a while he was called 'that weirdo with a doll' but that died away when Jongdae's academic popularity arose and he was a hero reborn.

Chanyeol didn't give up. In between classes and breaks he would try to snatch Eggy or Moomin away but Jongdae always had the upper hand. He didn't stop until lunch when Jongdae threatened to smash its head in and offer it to the lunch lady. Of course he wouldn't do that because his grade is on the line, but he needed Chanyeol's clumsy ass to stay in its lane. And plus it was nice to see him scared and all.

They were surprised to see everyone on the table also had an egg to take care of. Was Mr. Choi everyone's Health Ed teacher?

It was cute how Tao and Baek cooperated in taking turns of tending to their baby, unsurprisingly named "Princess". He wasn't also shocked to see Yixing and Jongin partnered up, with Yixing treating the egg with indifference but Jongin dressing it up in a onesie.

Chanyeol and Jongin quietly discussed about egg clothing while Jongdae ignored Luhan who just had to sit next to him.

"Little Fried is in Minseok's care now." There was something about Luhan's tone he couldn't pinpoint.

"The answer to a question I never asked," Jongdae bit his chicken sandwich.

Luhan spotted Moomin on the table, his eyes on the egg on its pocket. He moved to touch it but Jongdae is so quick to move it away that he almost sent the egg flying. They accidentally touched fingers. The glare he threw Luhan was so deadly the whole table was surprised.

Baekhyun was the first to laugh. "That's Moomin. Jongdae is awfully attached to it. Don't take it personally."

The table murmured in agreement. Jongdae stood up, all appetite lost, sick feeling to his stomach. He ended up clattering the whole table, sending Jongin's baby to its death on the floor. Tao gasped at the mess. He walked away, unapologetic.

Chanyeol was about to chase him when Luhan beat him to it.

At the boy's bathroom, Jongdae angrily washed his hands. The running tap did nothing to wash away the disgust he was feeling right then. The boy at the other sink was staring at him weirdly before deciding he wanted none of it then left. He wanted to wash Moomin as well but the school didn't have a dryer around. He had never let so much anger show in public. It was that damn Chinese exchange student's fault.

He didn't hear the door opening and closing. "You're either a haphephobe or just a mild mysophobe," Luhan commented, touching his chin. He was watching the way Jongdae scrubbed his hands furiously.

Jongdae glared at him through the bathroom mirror. "Mind your own business."

"You're also an enigma." Luhan found it all amusing, he could tell. The slight smirk, the twinkle in his eye all proved it. Jongdae had never wanted to punch a person so badly. "A puzzle where I can't seem to fit all the pieces."

Jongdae turned off the tap. His hands were sore. "To do that you have to find all the pieces first. Now get out while I'm saying it nicely."

Luhan did so.

»

By the end of the week, it was to no one's surprise that only Jongdae's and Luhan's were the last eggs standing. Everyone in the class wanted to know who would win. Some of them bet on it, hiding the stack of bills under their desk. Teams had formed, you're either 'Team Chandae' or 'Team Lumin'.

Personally, Jongdae didn't care about his classmates’ shenanigans. As long as Eggy was in his care and Chanyeol didn't try to sneak up on him to steal it or something, they would win fair and square. He had only allowed his pretend husband to have visiting rights during lunch, where he could watch him like a hawk.

LITTLE FRIED VS. EGGY AZALEA SHOWDOWN was written on the board, and few of the boys sniggered behind their hands when Mr. Choi shook his head and erased it.

"Jongdae, we're so close! It won't be bad losing now even," said Chanyeol. "The loser will still have high points."

"Yeah, no. Chanyeol, don't even think about losing," Jongdae warned. Eyes trained well, he saw Luhan passing Little Fried to Minseok under their desks, whispering something to him. Minseok opened his bag to put the egg in it. Perfect.

The whole period he had already formed a plan inside his head, counting the minutes he had to wait before executing it. Once the bell rang, Mr. Choi dismissed them in his ever so boring voice and Jongdae stood up, moving to follow Minseok.

Chanyeol came face to face with him at the very last moment. "Aren't you having Lit next? Where are you going?"

He didn't bother asking about how Chanyeol knew his schedule. He rolled his eyes. "I'm going to murder Luhan's child. Now move along if you're not coming with me."

"What?!" Chanyeol looked abashed. "But J-Jongdae! That's cheating! And uh..."

Jongdae, however, was not. "It's an egg, Chanyeol," he deadpanned.

"B-but-"

There was no helping it. Jongdae pouted and tried to look as miserable as possible. If this wasn't going to work on Chanyeol, he'd have no choice but to lock him inside a janitor's closet. Students who were passing by stared at them, not minding their own business. "Chanyeol... I overheard Luhan talking to Minseok about... about how he's planning to smash Eggy into pieces after classes! H-he'll corner me and Moomin and... you know what happened the other day, right? He tried to take it."

Chanyeol, looked shocked, his eyebrows shooting up to his hairline. "Is that true? I don't think Luhan is-"

Jongdae had to look offended. "Do I look like a liar to you? Now be quiet and let's go."

They followed Minseok into the hallway, trailing him in a good distance. Minseok strutted, putting on a white baseball cap, even though he was a soccer player and probably going to soccer practice.

"Stay," he ordered Chanyeol. The other had no choice but to follow, half scared and half curious as to what might happen.

With his eyes on the target: the blue duffel bag slung over Minseok's shoulder, he gained speed in his walk until finally he ran into Minseok 'accidentally'. He muttered a quick sorry.

Minseok waved it off, not realizing anything was wrong.

Jongdae waited to see if there would be a reaction. When Minseok just continued to strut to practice, he smiled and went over to Chanyeol. "It's done now."  
  


Chanyeol looked like they committed real murder. He was perspiring and looking guilty pale. "Oh my god."

Jongdae tried to show a guilty expression. "Yeah, I'm really sorry it had to come to that. But it's Eggy's life on the line."

"IT'S AN EGG," Chanyeol shouted, caps lock reverberating in Jongdae's ears. Great, now more onlookers were staring at the oddity that was Chanyeol, who looked like he was going to cry.

"An egg holding the fate of our grades in its hands," Jongdae reasoned. He was getting annoyed having to explain why it wasn't such a bad thing. "Now stop crying and move on."

Chanyeol left, slouching, towards his next class. Jongdae had no time to feel bad for him when he had other things to do. He walked to the school field, overlooking the bleachers and the soccer field next to the school track. The school prioritized sports over academics; it was glaringly obvious.

Minseok was at the soccer field, hair in a bun, instructing his members. The blue duffel bag was placed on one of the middle rows on the bleachers, the sun illuminating its color from the seats which were pure white. Jongdae sighed, he was making this too easy.

Jongdae sauntered towards it, not even being sneaky. Everyone down below was too busy paying attention to Minseok's words, so they wouldn't even see him. For shame. The cheerleaders were concentrating on doing their stunts, and none of the people sitting on the front row saw him.

He opened the bag and there it was, unharmed as expected. He knew that hit wouldn't be enough to destroy the egg. A sly smile curled on his lips as he brought out the pen and proceeded to smash it slightly on the side. Little Fried had a gaping hole for a nose now.

The soccer team finished their discussion and tore apart. Jongdae sprinted out of there, and bumped into Jongin.

A slight tingle. He ignored it.

"Jongdae?" Jongin meekly asked.

"What?" He didn't have the time to manage a smile.

Rain started pouring from outside. Jongdae cursed, realizing he didn't bring an umbrella today. He stared at the pitter-patter of the rain as it progressively got stronger. Not noticing that Jongin was still there, he started walking away.

"The teacher asked me to look for you... Are you um... okay?" Jongin called him back.

He had almost brought his palm to his face. Right. Lit class. He forgot. "I took a shower down in the locker rooms." Jongdae pulled the hood of his jacket forward, in case Jongin got suspicious that his hair wasn't even wet.

Thunder roared, and he saw Jongin flinch, but he dismissed it as a trick of the light. "Why?" Jongin was being uncharacteristically nosey today. Jongdae stepped past him to go to class but then Jongin said, "Did someone touch you?"

Jongdae's footsteps came to a standstill.

Jongin rearranged the glasses on his nose with his middle finger. "I uh... I'm right aren't I? You're haphephobic?"

How in the hell did he knew that? Luhan could tell for he was pegged as a smart one but Jongin? Well, he didn't really knew much about Jongin. "Yeah whatever," he confessed. "Don't tell anyone."

Jongdae couldn't sit still the whole day. He had just told someone of his phobia. His fear. His weakness. Telling someone who he didn't even knew an inch about. It could be used against him. Suddenly, Jongdae wanted to punch a mirror. How could he have been so stupid as to admit it? It made him agitated to the core that someone knew.

»

Chanyeol's horrified expression never wavered, still guilty about what he had witnessed. When Luhan had put his arm around his shoulder, asking what movie he should see at the weekend, Chanyeol screamed like the oddball he is and made some lousy excuse to leave.

His dread only became worse, Jongdae noticed, when Health Ed came. He was not the only one. Minseok's eyes were downcast and he’d refused to look at Luhan when the boy had sat on his desk to say hi.

"Why's everyone so scared of me?" Luhan thought out loud. Jongdae knew that Luhan probably already knew. Characteristically, he was all chill about it.

Mr. Choi's smile was apparent under his mustache when he called on the winners of the project/CONTEST. "I shouldn't be surprised if it's Kim Jongdae after all!" he exclaimed, handing both of them fake gold medals. Jongdae stared at it, smirking at how he could see the faintest of his reflection.

The class applauded, money was being exchanged, students shouting their victory. All should have been well, except it wasn't. Chanyeol's smile didn't reach his eyes, and his other eye didn't crinkle.

After class, Jongdae had no choice but to order Chanyeol to come with him.

They meet with Luhan on his way to English class. He looked just as surprised as Chanyeol when they saw him. "Oh, congrats you guys-"

"Luhan-ah," Jongdae interrupted, hoping his mellow voice would do the trick. Everyone loved his voice. "I'm sorry. It's my fault." Chanyeol looked surprised that Jongdae just admitted to murder. "I ran into Minseok the other day, so don't blame it on him. The crash must've broken Little Fried."

Luhan just laughed, eyes turning into crescents. It was an ugly sight. "It's fine. It was just a silly little egg. Plus second place isn't so bad. I only got five points less." He greasily pushed his brown hair back, trying to be cool.

He could hear Chanyeol breathing a sigh of relief after that. He also felt considerably better, talking loud over everyone else at the lunch table.

However, Luhan wasn't done. Jongdae was just at the bike shed, getting ready to go home, he had already clasped on the helmet his mom insisted he wore. Moomin was in the front basket, his bag was slung over his shoulders, everything was prepared. But Luhan just had to make an appearance. "Was it fun?" he asked. "Destroying the enemy, I mean?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"You and I both know that you intended to destroy that egg," Luhan nodded his pointy chin at him. He leaned on one of the short posts, his default smile in place. "I don't even know why you feel so threatened. You just have to win at everything, do you? Stop looking at me like a rival."

Jongdae got on his bike and then gave him a piercing stare. Luhan was ridiculous. "Don't flatter yourself. I have never looked at you as a rival." And then he took off.

He was past the gates when he saw Chanyeol's tall frame, getting on mountain bike. "Hey," he greeted.

Chanyeol smiled sadly, putting his bag at the front basket of his vehicle. "Very brave, Jongdae. I'm relieved you confessed."

Jongdae snorted. "Well it was just an egg. Plus I did it for you."

"For me?" Chanyeol stopped moving.

"Yeah. You said you wanted our egg to be the best one so I made her be."

Chanyeol seemed to be contemplating this. He was always torn, being so naturally good. Could this even work out between them?

Here it goes. "And if that doesn't say 'I like you' enough then I don't know what will."

Now Chanyeol just stopped breathing altogether. A few seconds passed and his face had gotten red. "Y-y-you l-like m-me? Fo-For real?!"

Jongdae clutched Moomin as he answers, "I don't know what came over me but yes, I do like you. It must be your infectious laugh... or your deep-forgive me for saying this-sexy voice." He stopped when he noticed Chanyeol got considerably closer. That was one thing he was good at. Closing spaces. "And yeah, my mom's looking for me so I gotta go."

Chanyeol stopped at that, confused why Jongdae would prevent him from going in for the kill but he smiled at all the compliments. "The truth is... um, don't be surprised but I kind of like you, too?"

He acted surprised. "Oh really? I never had a clue, honestly!" Maybe if he just chose to forget all that try-hard obvious flirting and stuff, his statement would be true.

"So... does this mean we're a thing now?" He licked his lips.

"As long as you don't bring Joey along then I guess I can go on a few dates with you." Jongdae chose this moment to pedal away and leave behind a flustered Chanyeol.

»

No one was surprised, to say the least, the following day when Chanyeol proudly broke the news out to everyone. He might as well have announced it on the mic that was connected to all the school speakers because everyone knew immediately. Kim Jongdae the nerd was dating Park Chanyeol the loud loony.

Everyone at the table congratulated them.

Tao tried to pay Yixing a wad of cash under the table, to hide his embarrassment, but Yixing took it from him and waved it in the air for everyone to see. Tao groaned but held his head up high. "Told you Chanyeol would man up," Yixing said to his face.

"What?" said Chanyeol. "Jongdae confessed to me first, though..."

Yixing grumbled while Tao snatched the cash out of his hands. "I'll take that!"

Only Luhan was missing, though Jongdae wasn't complaining.

Yixing, for some unknown reason, seemed to be reading his mind. He cocked an eyebrow and a dimple appeared. "He's at soccer tryouts. That Minseok guy finally succeeded in persuading him to join the team." He brought out a book from his bag and waved it. "Thanks for informing me about the book. Junmyeon kindly gave me a discount after some... enticement."

"Sly," commented Jongdae, impressed. His black hair fell over his eyes and he flipped them. He might need to do something about that.

"He asks about you a lot too."

"Oh-"

"-Whoa, who is this guy you're talking about? Junmyeon? Should I be worried about him?" Chanyeol had already taken upon his role to act as the possessive boyfriend. He wanted to sling an arm around Jongdae's shoulders but Jongdae stopped him with a stare, as if to say he hated PDA and it was off-limits.

Yixing shook off Chanyeol's suspicions. "Ah no, Junmyeon's just like that. He has motherly instincts. Just like Jongdae here."

"Jongdae? Motherly?" Chanyeol couldn't believe it.

"I have my moments." Jongdae stuffed Chanyeol's gaping mouth with a cheese stick, then ate one himself.

"It's like he always needs to keep track of everyone. That kind of stuff," shrugged Tao. Baekhyun beside him wasn't paying attention to the food and was copying notes from someone else's instead. "Eat your food before it goes away, Byun Baekhyun."

Baekhyun blinked. "Ah, oh of course congratulations, guys. Totally knew you would get together. It was unusual for Jongdae to be interested in someone... that's not me."

Jongdae gave him a cocky smile. "I get what I want."

Chanyeol trapped Baekhyun in a headlock, spilling some milk over the notes. "Don't get too sad that I won't be spending as much time with you now."

Baekhyun pushed Chanyeol away. "Chanyeol! Look what you did to Choa's notes! She'll kill me! Oh my god." He hurriedly flipped the notebook over to get the liquid out. "I am so going to kill you. I wouldn't even need Jongdae's permission."

Under the table Yixing paid Tao another bill, while the latter looking smug.

»

Jongdae jolted awake. He had fallen asleep on the job, feet on the counter next to the cash register. Something was laid out on his chest and he recognized it as his Chemistry textbook. He was the only person in the bookshop because Krystal had curfew and he was covering for Kyungsoo. Junmyeon was nowhere to be found last time he checked. He stretched his arms and back and continued reading.

In a second all the lights went off.

Jongdae stared at nothing in the vast darkness, cursing whatever did this because now he couldn't read.

"Don't play with someone who has a Chemistry quiz tomorrow!" He shouted and flapped his book shut. It wasn't the electricity as the air conditioner was still running, but someone or something switched off all the lights. What time was it anyway? He knew he had fallen asleep around 9.

The lights flicked on and off. Jongdae was unabashed, he was just so sleepy.

Then suddenly there was a shadow in front of the counter. A tall one. The shadow smiled, revealing white teeth in the dark. His hand was raised to present Jongdae with something.

It was Chanyeol with a paper bag. Sadly, it wasn't covering his face.

"What are you doing here? And can you turn on the lights?" Jongdae asked, annoyed.

"Um... that's not me actually."

They both glanced sideways and a figure jumped from the shadows, effectively scaring Chanyeol into oblivion. He screamed until the lights went back on, revealing Junmyeon with a remote control.

"Very scary," Jongdae chuckled at his boss, but he dropped it the next second. "Though I'd be much more scary if you play like that while I'm studying."

"Kyungsoo is having an effect on you." Junmyeon chuckled lightly. He looked at Chanyeol. "Sorry about that. Is there something you want, sir?"

"Ah, no," Chanyeol looked embarrassed, with his hat drooped down low obscuring his face. "I'm just here to visit my boyfriend actually. I got you some food," he said to Jongdae, giving him the paper bag with a familiar food brand etched on it.

Junmyeon was surprised. "Boyfriend?"

Jongdae acted offended. "Do I look like the type who can't snag a guy? You hurt me."

"It's not that. It's just... I don't see you as a romantic."

Chanyeol came to his rescue. He cleared his throat before going into a whole monologue about how Jongdae is the perfection in his life. "First of all, he's amazing. Everyone swoons everytime he looks at them. He's charismatic, almost everybody likes him. Plus he's really smart and intuitive. He's basically your dream guy. To have someone like that fall for me, it was definitely a miracle bestowed by the God after praying to him every night. His voice could melt you, even. I can just imagine how each customer here would want some help with finding a book and Jongdae helping them, like, "What can I get you, Ma'am?" and then they'd fall head over heels for him. He's really weird, too, but in a good way. He is a romantic, sir. He had flirted with me in a subtle kind of way, which made me like him even more, knowing he's not that obvious like me. I don't blame you for not noticing it. Only people Jongdae had ever flirted with will."

Jongdae, although embarrassed, smiled proudly at his boyfriend. And the SHADE.

Junmyeon looked a bit uncomfortable after all that, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "Okay, so... Jongdae you can go home. I'll lock up."

Outside, Jongdae had changed out of his uniform and had taken a bite out of the food Chanyeol had given him. Chanyeol was setting up his bike. "Come on. I'll take you home. It's too late at night."

"Nope," Jongdae flat out refused, popping the 'P'.

Chanyeol pouted.

Jongdae gave him an empty laugh, throwing the empty paper bag to the nearest bin. "That's not going to work on me."

Chanyeol didn't go down without a fight. He looked down at Jongdae with his pinks red. "Please? I just want to take you home and then maybe kiss you goodbye at your house's gate--" Jongdae was giving him such a dirty look that he had to stop.

But then Jongdae laughed again and his eyes disappeared into crescents. "One more time, Chanyeol," he said, shaking his head in laughter. "One more and I swear I'm going to kill you right now."

Chanyeol sighed in defeat, kicking his big feet on the pavement. "You can be real scary sometimes."

"Only when I need to be." He slyly smirked at Chanyeol then started walking away to his bike.

"Can you come over tomorrow?" That made Jongdae discontinue his steps. "To my house, I mean. You wanted to explore the forest, right? Mom and sis will be out again. So-"

Chanyeol was cut off when something was hugging him. He looked down and Jongdae was enveloping him into a tight hug. But Jongdae was quick to let go. Chanyeol just then realized that this was their ever first physical contact.

»

**  
**

"What's that kid taking so long in the shower for?" Jongdeok grumbled, throwing himself off the couch.

Beside him, his father just shook his head, his attention focused on the tv. There were several files and documents on the coffee table, all ignored. Jongdeok rolled his eyes at the ashtray. One mistake and he could start a fire. "Jongdeok. You know how your brother is... about things. I told you to stop with that attitude. You need to understand Jongdae."

"Whatever," said Jongdeok, already at the base of the stairs. His father took his eyes off the television to give him a stern glare. "If he's jacking off I'm throwing him out," he reasoned before going upstairs.

Jongdae was just closing the bathroom door, wearing nothing but a towel. He stopped when he saw Jongdeok.

Jongdeok's eyes widened as they trailed all over Jongdae's body. His skin was flaming red and some parts were even bleeding. Jongdeok's hair stood up all over his body. He couldn't take this shit.

Jongdae didn't say anything but walked past his brother, barefoot, with Moomin in his hands. He was used to getting weird looks from him.

From behind him, Jongdeok almost touched Jongdae but thought better and stopped himself just in time.

That night, as Jongdae buried himself under the sheets, he basked in the soreness and ache of his body. He shouldn't have scrubbed himself that hard. But he felt disgusting. Used. Unclean. He wanted to flay his skin off and replace it with new, like a snake.

He just needed to hide this feeling before more people realised.

»

"Boyfriend?"

Jongdae reclined on the cushy white sofa, closing his eyes to prevent his eyes from rolling. The revolting taste of the downed coffee was still at the back of his throat, the cup set on the glass coffee table, not going to be touched again any time soon. Luckily, Jongdae had a book to cover his face in case the disgust showed. "Why is everyone surprised that I have one? It's seriously offending me."

Liyin laughed, gentle as she drank from her own coffee cup. She leaned back on the chair across from Jongdae herself. "You don't seem-"

"-the type. Yeah, I heard," Jongdae snapped.

"It was bound to happen, though," commented the older lady, smiling. "You're an attractive young man."

Jongdae intentionally flipped his hair, the strands falling in his eyes. Said eyes fell back down to the ancient book Liyin had lent him for today. The crispy pages had some stains and some bites on them, no doubt coming from the rats from the attic. Whenever Jongdae came by, Liyin would always provide him with one, knowing how much Jongdae liked knowledge. "As I was saying... I can't stay long. I've got to go to Chanyeol's house. There's a forest behind his house."

"Forest? That should be why you're so excited. I've never seen you like this."

"You could tell?" He wasn't honestly even hiding it. He was staring at his wristwatch every 10 seconds, impatient. The slow and antagonizing seconds passed by without any hurry. And he knew he shouldn't come off as imposing if he arrived earlier than the decided time. "How's the baby by the way?"

Liyin rubbed her glowing belly, which had become more evident now that a few weeks had passed since the last he saw her. "Well, she's sure an energetic one. She keeps me awake by kicking every time I try to sleep. I hope my baby girl grows up to be exactly like you, though."

Thank god the book concealed his face, because he was near to laughter. "Why is that?" He managed to keep his voice calm.

"Well for starters, you're smart and respectable. I think all the ladies in the neighborhood are hoping for a child like you. Your mother did a good job raising you."

Well, she was right on that account. "And the other reasons?" He put the book down, smirking at her lazily.

Liyin chuckled, shaking her head, her thick mane of hair following. "You know well what those other reasons are."

"No, I'm curious."

"You're charming... kind... among other reasons," she ended.

The front door opened, and in came Liyin's husband, Zhou Mi, struggling to get rid of the tie wrapped around the collar of his three piece suit. Liyin went to his aid. His eyes locked with Jongdae's. "You again?"

As if Jongdae hadn't visited there countless times already.

Liyin rolled her eyes as she helped Zhou Mi shrug off the jacket. "He's just borrowing some of the books Grandfather left for me. You know how Jongdae's the smartest kid in his school, right?"

And for some odd reason, Jongdae thought of Luhan. He disrupted the image almost immediately. Crossing his legs, he sat up straight and looked Zhou Mi dead in the eye. "You're flattering me too much."

Zhou Mi ignored him and strode through the arch leading to the kitchen. "Tsk," he announced, sighing at the empty fridge. A couple of milk bottles and some fruits were the only things inside.   
  


"I was thinking of eating out, actually," said Liyin, who was entangling her fingers together in a nervous manner. "You know... we haven't gone out for a while. What do you say?"

He gave a noncommittal shrug, already opening a can of beer he found hidden on the freezer. Jongdae stood up after watching them. This was his cue to leave. He quietly did, looking back one last time at the couple, a flit of unhappiness on both of their faces.

No choice but to go to Chanyeol's house three hours earlier than the designated schedule, he arrived at the front door, Moomin in hand and charm in check. He knocked on the door, and Chanyeol opened it, sun glimmering on his naked torso.

Chanyeol was surprised, as he should be, at Jongdae's sudden appearance. Jongdae eyed his long body, which was all skin and bones. This made Chanyeol register that he wasn't wearing a shirt and he opened the door widely. "I'll be right back."

Jongdae wasted no time and pushed open the back door, making his way to the forest. The lush green trees all seemed to welcome him, swaying side to side in the breeze. A dirt path was laid out in front of him, wanting to lead him somewhere.

The door behind him slammed open. Chanyeol had a band shirt on, and Jongdae saw he had fixed his bed hair and washed his face. Excitement was clear-cut on his face. "I'll take you to the river. It's amazing. Not a lot of hikers this time around so we'll have the woods to ourselves. Just be careful because it can be dangerous."

Jongdae felt this inexplicable freedom and comfort as he jogged behind Chanyeol. This place was calling out to him. And for a moment, he was thankful to have met Chanyeol. They ran for about 40 minutes, zigzagging between paths of soil and green. Finally, Jongdae's eyes lit up when he heard the roar of the said river. The river gushed a strong current, and Jongdae feasted on the sight with his eyes.

Chanyeol noticed. "Who knew you were a nature freak? If you like it that much I can take you here more often."

They stayed a little while longer, situating themselves above a solid rock overlooking the river. Jongdae couldn't take his eyes off it. He wondered about the other wonders this forest had. Chanyeol said something about a forest caretaker but he didn't know him that well. He’d only seen him once and it wasn't a pleasant experience.

"I drink here all alone," Chanyeol shared. "Whenever Dad stocks some stuff on the fridge. He just lets me though, as long as he doesn't see me. I only drink when I'm upset anyway." He flashed his white teeth. "And that's rare."

"Oh are we confessing stuff now?" Jongdae patted the dust off his jeans. "Well, I guess I could tell you about some personal stuff. My family and I... have a happy relationship."

"Oh yeah, I have never heard about your family. I heard from Baekhyun that you guys are famous, though. To think that my boyfriend's famous and rich..." he sniffed.

"I'd like to drink with you sometime," said Jongdae, letting his feet dangle off the edge of the rock.

"You'd have to get me angry though."

"That won't be too hard." Jongdae's eyes snapped forward to the river. "So... are there any other ways to get inside a forest?"

"Hmm..." Chanyeol paused to think. "I think there are only three. Aside from the house, there's a path leading to the caretaker's house... and then the gas station nearby. The gas station's empty and abandoned, though. They even say it's haunted."

Jongdae, lowkey delighted, rubbed his tummy through the plaid shirt he was wearing. "Say, I'm kind of hungry. You weren't expecting a guest without preparing anything at all, were you?"

Chanyeol jumped off the rock, panicked at his less than hospital actions. "I'll be back in an hour with some food. I'll be fast! Stay there!" He waved before disappearing behind the trees.

When Chanyeol expected Jongdae to stay, of course Jongdae didn't. He took his time to explore the humongous forest, taking care not to encounter bugs or wild animals. He heard the faint thud of chopping. It was either going to be the caretaker or Chanyeol's dad. Honestly, he was hoping for the latter. The caretaker didn't really sound sane from Chanyeol's trip down memory lane.

He snuck up behind one of the larger trees, eyeing the back of someone who wasn't tall built. A bearded axe was being used to cut some wood that fell down to the muddy ground. Jongdae didn't disturb Chanyeol's dad and moved on.

Finally, with Chanyeol's less than clear directions he found what he was looking for. The gravel sat nicely under the soles of his feet as he looked around the empty gas station. Rust and moss were clinging onto the walls and it really did look abandoned. Satisfied with this, he went back to the river. It made enough noise to pinpoint its exact location. He sat down at the rock, contemplating his options when Chanyeol arrived with a plate full of sandwiches.

Jongdae took them. "So, does this neighborhood have any other houses aside from yours?"

"There's like two but a few miles away. It gets lonely here sometimes." And Jongdae thought of a child version of Chanyeol, all alone and no one to play with. Chanyeol, who only had his sister to play with in the snow, camp out in the forest and have adventures with as a kid. It was quite sad, because it differed so much from his.

He had let Chanyeol escort him back to the front after that. For a moment, Chanyeol had looked like he was expecting a hug or some sort. Something had turned inside his stomach again, and he had just waved goodbye.

But when the other had gone safely back inside his house, Jongdae had taken his bike and gone back inside the woods, leaving instead through the gas station.

»

Lying on the sofa with glasses perched on his nose and a book on his hand, Jongdae was keeping himself busy in order to ward off the hunger. His mom had been late in preparing dinner, and was only doing so now. Jongdae had to kindly remind her. She looked distracted by something.

"Jongdae?" Her head surfaced from the corner of the kitchen. "Can you go to the convenience store nearby and buy some cream? Maybe you should take your car. There wouldn't be much police patrolling around."

He could sniff what smelled like spaghetti boiling. His mother was looking at him, pleading to not go against her order. Jongdae set his book down beside him. "Jongdeok has the car," he said, but knew it wasn't true. The thought of unused cigarettes and the smell of smoke were enough to sicken him. And he knew Jongdeok wouldn't be so forgiving if he knew Jongdae used his car. Jongdae was already out of the house, ignoring his mom's qualms about his safety at this time of the night.

The smell of air freshener greeted him as he got inside the small convenience store. There were a few customers going by their checklists. Jongdae fixed his coat, eyeing the chick manning the cash register.

In the dairy section, he picked up the familiar brand of cream they'd always used. Jongdae turned it around, carefully reading the nutrition facts even though he had them memorized in the back of his head.

"Eggs... Careful now..." Beside him a worker was muttering to himself. He could make out a lisp from those few words. Jongdae looked, and the guy was concentrating on counting the eggs arranged on the shelves. His face was blank. Jongdae thought he looked like a foot, actually, and was unworthy of his attention so he moved on without looking back.

"Sehun!" Jongdae turned back towards the cashier, whose annoying voice was ringing. "It's your turn now!"

The guy who looked like a foot appeared, face still impassive as he took on the job behind the cash register. He checked out the items for the person in front of Jongdae, who had ropes and a boxcutter. 'Sehun' was unabashed.

Jongdae handed over his carton of cream, watching Sehun's face intently. "That'd be 3000." He took this time to test a hypothesis, bringing out his wallet and slowly counting his money. Jongdae could feel the irritated aura Sehun was giving off, but his face betrayed no emotions. Satisfied, Jongdae finally paid in full.

I can't believe I'm interested, thought Jongdae as soon as he got back home. There was just something about that guy. But he couldn't afford himself to get distracted. He still had Chanyeol to take care of.

Family dinner was tense as always. His mother tried to lift the tension as usual, talking about her work; it did nothing but bore Jongdae. Jongdeok was playing with his food, glaring at everything and everyone.

"I'm thinking of inviting my boss soon. He has a daughter of Jongdeok's age. That'd be perfect!" Her eyes had that glint that made her look like a witch. It was the sign that she had hatched a plan. "Jongdae, do you think you could-"

"-I have a boyfriend, mother," Jongdae simply said, pressing on the side of his lips with a tissue.

The sound of clattering utensils echoed around the room as Jongdeok slammed them down on the table.

"Jongdeok!" his father warned.

Jongdeok glared at Jongdae, fury with a mix of jealousy carved in his eyes.  "I'm not hungry," were his final words before stomping away.

His father groaned, massaging his temples. His mother's smile had frozen in its place. "A... a boyfriend, you say? W-well... you could just use your charm on her... the promotion's really important to me, you know that, right?"

Jongdae nodded. "I'll do it. Just please..." He gave her a piercing stare. "Leave Chanyeol alone. He is mine." His mom had this habit of ruining his brother’s relationships, and Jongdae wanted to make sure she wouldn’t start with him, too.

That night, his mattress felt like a bed of thorns, for each time he tried to sleep in it he would always get the same plaguing nightmares. Jongdae's body shook, and it wasn't at all because he had forgotten to cover himself in a blanket. Moomin was the only thing that could offer him solace. He couldn't fall asleep without hugging it now.

This went on for two days straight. On the second day, Baekhyun noticed the growing bags under Jongdae's eyes. He looked on worriedly, expression turning puppylike. "Are you getting enough sleep? You have eyebags."

Jongdae's free hand immediately flew to his eyes, the other one clenching in anger. He couldn't look less than perfect.

"Don't worry, Jongdae. You always look perfect to me," provided Chanyeol, unhelpfully. Baekhyun and the others groaned in response.

The test results for Health Ed came out. Jongdae glared at Mr. Choi and the back of the head of the student in front of him. His test paper was mocking him. A red 98 in red ink was written in the upper right. Jongdae angrily flipped through the test pages. He lost two points on the essay part.

"Lu Han got the highest score," Mr. Choi announced, a smile on Luhan's way. "Good job. I knew you could do it. It's because I was captivated at his essay on early pregnancy. His was the best one there is."

Jongdae was less than understanding.

Baekhyun comforted him at lunch. "Hey, it was just a close second. You can own him later on. And to be honest, I'm team Kim Jongdae." He winked, posing with a peace sign.

Jongdae just nodded, still irritated at everything happening to him right now.

They were on their way to the lunch hall, and only had the chance to stumble upon each other on Jongdae's way out of the bathroom. "You know, I'm really happy," said Baekhyun, clutching his notes against his chest. "About Chanyeol and you, I mean. It's just so nice to see my two best mates together. Makes me a bit sad that I'm still single."

Jongdae couldn't be bothered to point out that there was someone out there who was pining after him, under the guise of friendly bickering. Baekhyun had been blind to the obvious efforts Tao had been making lately, too. Honestly.

But then suddenly, "So? Are you asexual?"

Jongdae stopped. "What?"

"I don't know..." Baekhyun shrugged, a bit surprised that Jongdae had stopped walking. "You just seem like it? You know I have nothing against that..."

Jongdae was not surprised that Baekhyun would ask this. But people needed to keep their noses in their own business. So he just said a "yes" and left.

»

Time went by and Jongdae found himself frequenting Chanyeol's house more often, more particularly the forest. He had also met his father, who had complete respect for Jongdae because of his status at school. Chanyeol's dad even patted his son on the back, saying how he had managed to catch a good one. Chanyeol meekly laughed.

They were almost through finishing Chanyeol's collection of romcom movies. There was a whole shelf dedicated to them, most of them western with Korean subtitles. He was bored by all of them but he only agreed to watching to observe Chanyeol anyway. And laugh at how accurate he would always be when shooting some popcorn into Chanyeol's open mouth.

He tried to get Chanyeol to watch horror movies, but that led to a less than pleasant experience, with Chanyeol screaming and refusing to go out to the forest for more than a week.

He had not told Chanyeol how he'd always go to the forest through the gas station path. Like he needed to know anyway. Sometimes he would just stay to watch the river, still fascinated by it to that very day. And sometimes he would just spy on Mr. Park doing some woodwork.

The forest had become his second home.

»

A customer came in and Jongdae looked up from his reshelving.

It was Sehun, his long limbs covered in black jeans and a polo. A hint of shock passed over his face when he saw Jongdae on the way to greet him. No doubt he recognized him. Or was he that unforgettable among the hundreds of customers going through that store?

"I'm looking for a Humanities book." And as he relayed the details of his book, Jongdae couldn't help but watch Sehun's face as the words rolled off his tongue. The taller wasn't looking at Jongdae at all to notice this, eyes glancing left and right.

"Are you looking for someone?" asked Jongdae.

Sehun seemed to be contemplating admitting that he was indeed looking for someone. "Is Kyungsoo here?"

"Oh, Kyungsoo?" That person was busy doing Junmyeon's orders at the back. Probably sneaking in to read some college textbooks too. "He's busy. I'll be happy to assist you instead."

Jongdae led him to the book he was looking for. Behind the cash register, Krystal licked her lips and eyed their customer hungrily. She did have a habit of getting attracted to a lot of guys. "It's here. The book you're looking for. Do you need anything else?"

Sehun shook his head, trying so hard not to seem obvious while looking for Kyungsoo.  Krystal tried to flirt with him when he was at the cashier, failing miserably when Sehun asked her to repeat her flirty lines because he was too distracted to hear them.

The bells jingled from behind them and Junmyeon came in, comfy sweater hugging his body. He flipped his fringe out his eyes, complaining about the weather growing steadily colder.

They all eyed Sehun as he dashed out of the shop, not even taking his change from Krystal.

"What the fuck was that?" Krystal asked, more annoyed that Sehun had ignored her attempts.

"Do you know him?" Jongdae asked Junmyeon.

Frowning slightly, Junmyeon hugged himself as he told Jongdae about Sehun. "They're dating. Kyungsoo and that guy. I found them... doing nasty things." Some wrinkles appeared on Junmyeon's forehead as he said this which made Jongdae snort. "Don't ask where. Just inside this holy bookstore my uncle left me. I had to throw the guy out and reprimand Kyungsoo. He wasn’t disconcerted though. Kyungsoo, I mean."

"They're both emotionless," commented Jongdae.

"Not really. That other guy was blushing madly and his eyes grew to the size of baseballs." Jongdae chuckled again at Junmyeon's analogy.

"How I would pay to see that," he mumbled. Who knew Kyungsoo had it in him to have sex in a public place, least of all the bookshop where he could be punished if caught? Jongdae had underestimated him.

Junmyeon was looking at him with the eyes of a tender loving mother. "What's gotten into you? Have you been eating well?"

Jongdae could always count on his surrogate mother to notice things. He was saved from answering when the door to the back room slammed open and Kyungsoo emerged carrying a box full of books they had to stock. He gave Jongdae a look that screamed 'help-me-or-else'.

Jongdae helped him unload the box, and his hands stopped when he saw the cover. A vague memory had him recalling that Jongin wanted this book. It was an eavesdropped conversation Jongdae couldn't help overhearing. Yixing had promised to buy him the book once it was out in Junmyeon's bookshop.

Jongdae picked a copy, scanning the cover and summary. The Devotion of Suspect X by Keigo Higashino. Jongin himself seemed to be fond of this author's works, he had observed.

Interested after reading the summary, he chucked two copies at the counter. "Charge it into my salary." He gave Junmyeon a sideways glance, nodding at the books after.

For Krystal, this was a normal thing when it came to Jongdae, so she was silent as she checked them out.

“It’s been too long since you bought a book from here.” A hand flew past him and reached for his book. Junmyeon observed it, nodding.

“Today’s… a special occasion.”

»

It was obvious that Jongin was hiding the excitement behind his eyes as soon as he received the book from Jongdae. His eyes glazed over at the sight of the cover, glinting with happiness. It was almost the same expression he had when he looked at his dogs.

"It's an advance birthday gift."

"But my birthday's um... four months away...?"

"Four month advance birthday gift," Jongdae smiled. In truth, it was just a form of 'thanks' for not revealing his secret. Jongdae did know how to be grateful.

Jongin regarded Jongdae closely through his spectacles. It was clear he was unsure about Jongdae's true intentions. But in the end, he kept the book inside his bag. "Thanks," he said quietly, eyes trained on Jongdae, which was weird because last month he couldn't even look at Jongdae properly.

Was it because now he knew about Jongdae's weakness he didn't have to act scared? Somehow that got on Jongdae's nerves.

Chanyeol, who had watched the whole scene from a distance, congratulated Jongdae and told him he was proud that Jongdae would go all that way just to lower Jongin's defenses and befriend him. It was clear that Chanyeol didn't knew his true intentions and he was okay with that.

“I didn’t know you had this in you, Jongdae.” Chanyeol had said, gazing at him lovingly. He could see the want and admiration he had in them for Jongdae.

It made Jongdae feel at rest. All was going well.

»

September 21 passed by. Jongdae deactivated his barren Facebook page in order to avoid the fake greetings from his relatives who knew it was birthday. He didn't want anyone to know. He had never let anyone outside the family know.

The faint smell of something baking woke him up. But of course, a family had to be a family. Downstairs, his mother was attempting to bake him a birthday cake, which was futile because Jongdae would refuse to eat it anyway.

He hated sweet stuff. He hated getting old and realizing he had done nothing productive at his age at all.

His brother didn't come home the whole day. The empty spot in the garage stayed empty.

Jongdae snuck out, not wanting to alert his mother about his absence. He had arrived at the place where he thought he truly belonged.

He lay in the shade of one of the trees, falling asleep. The nightmares didn't come.

»

"Where were you?!"

Chanyeol was evidently mad that Jongdae had failed to answer or purposefully ignored all his calls and messages. The others were no better, they wouldn't have known at all that Jongdae's birthday had passed, if not for Luhan 'slipping' them the fact. Jongdae had to know how Luhan had come about that information.

"Jongdae, you should've told us." Baekhyun sounded betrayed. "All these years you refused to tell me when your birthday is. You make us feel like shit."

"It's not important." Jongdae rolled his eyes, stepping aside to get to his class.

Jongin felt a little bad too, he could see, but he did a better job at hiding it. Unlike Chanyeol who had smoke coming out of his ears.

"Shut up, Chanyeol," snapped Jongdae, irritated. He slung his bag to the other shoulder, feeling suddenly restless. "I told you it's not that important. Can we just get to class?"

"You don't give a shit about yourself, that's what it is!" Chanyeol shouted. A couple heads turned in their direction. "Excuse us for worrying when you basically disappeared for a whole day!"

Jongdae took offense at this, because his number one priority was himself. Chanyeol didn't know anything about him. He glared at Chanyeol, who glared back. And then he started walking away, not caring anymore.

Chanyeol refused to talk to him the whole day, which was fine by Jongdae because he could use the spare time to study. Chanyeol even went as far as to use Luhan (who found the whole ordeal amusing) to make Jongdae jealous, using skinship and all that. It didn't work. Jongdae wasn't bothered at all. It wasn't his fault that Chanyeol cared that he didn't choose to disclose his personal business.

When one week had passed without any of them talking to each other, Baekhyun and Tao decided they would step in to take action.

"I don't know... it's hard to make Jongdae apologize for anything. I'm saying this as his best friend of four years; he hasn't said sorry even once the five times we fought."

"Maybe it was your fault?"

"I'm an innocent human being. Jongdae is the devil, you know that."

"Riight." Jongdae could tell Tao was rolling his eyes.

"Anyway, I think it's Chanyeol who needs to make the first move. You can tell he's dying too. But his pride is just as tall as he is. Plus, he was really worried about Jongdae,” said Baekhyun.

"I agree. Jongdae's a dick but not entirely a dick. I mean, he's really... private.” Tao dropped his voice low into a whisper as if to make a point.

"Okay, so what's your plan?"

"My plan? I thought you already had one!"

"What the fuck, Zitao!"

Jongdae came out of the shadows just in time to stop their bickering. "Whatever you guys are gonna do, you’d better stop it now." He didn't give them a chance to reply. "Chanyeol will come back to me with or without your help. So drop it." He gave them a sickly sweet grin after.   
  


And he was right. In Health Ed, Chanyeol slipped him a 'note' (it was really a love letter in novel form) about how he was sorry and how Luhan had helped him to come around and realize his mistakes. Unlike the first note he had ever passed to Jongdae, Chanyeol had written this one eloquently, taking care to align the letters on the paper.

Jongdae forgave him, expressing it by letting Chanyeol share his textbook yet again. Chanyeol was all too happy to disturb his personal space.

Jongdae wouldn't thank Luhan, though. Not now, not ever. Not when Luhan had just one-upped him in another test. Mr. Choi didn't look at Jongdae with as much amazement as he did Luhan now. He was complimenting Luhan more, too.

"Fuck you," Jongdae told Luhan in passing. He was on his way to Lit and Luhan to his English one. He said it so quietly he wasn't sure if Luhan heard.

But Luhan just smirked. "Would you?" he asked.

Disgusted, Jongdae swung his bag into Luhan's stomach.

»

Jongdae realized just how immensely different he and Chanyeol were. Like how Chanyeol was always surrounded by people, never alone. Jongdae, however, preferred his isolation in his sanctuary, the library.

Chanyeol would always put others before him. This made him easily taken advantage of, something Jongdae hated. He had always despised people who were pushovers or would simply let anyone walk over them. Jongdae only thought about himself. What he should wear today... what he should be today.

So it didn't come as a surprise when these differences made them argue over mundane things. Like how the other day, Jongdae just wanted to study in the library. ALONE.

“I thought I told you I wanted to study alone, you simpleton.” Two tables down Luhan and Baekhyun has been excitedly chattering, ignoring the looks of the disturbed students beside them. He had no idea why Chanyeol would think it was a good idea to bring them here in the first place.

“It’s not like they’re making any noise.”

“Are you serious?” Even when they were hidden behind the reference section, he could still hear Baekhyun’s annoying voice telling Luhan about what happened at his second period.

“C’mon, babe. Don’t be so antisocial.”

He had shoved the biggest encyclopedia he could find at Chanyeol then, ignoring the yelp the other let out. Did he even know what that meant? "Whatever, Chanyeol."

They had made up since then, but Jongdae made sure that Chanyeol wouldn't miss the memo that whenever he wanted to study, he wanted to do it. ALONE.

Now they were fighting over Luhan coming over to study again.

"Well, if you like Luhan so much why don't you become his boyfriend?" Jongdae challenged, eyes widening while his arms stayed crossed on his chest. Chanyeol may have been tall, but Jongdae had the ability to make people feel small with just a simple stare. What did he have to do to get it through Chanyeol's thick skull that he didn't like Luhan? Did he have to say it outright?

"God, you're so difficult." Chanyeol sighed, gritting his teeth and refusing to look at him. "I don't even know what your problem with him is. He has done nothing but be helpful to the both of us. Just because he scored a little higher on you on a few tests..."

Jongdae, having had enough, threw him one last nasty look before walking away to the other end of the corridor. But it was okay because Chanyeol would come back. He always did.

5...4...3...2...

Footsteps hurried to match his. "Look, I'm sorry," said Chanyeol. "You want alone time between us. I get it. Luhan will... understand."

Jongdae turned around suddenly and beamed at him.   
  


»  
  


"You guys are like cat and dog. Doesn't help that you look like cat and dog," commented Baekhyun one fine afternoon while they were out studying on the field. It was a study group that Jongdae had formed, meetings that would happen during lunchtime. A product of the incident of Jongdae accidentally finding out Baekhyun's low scores in Calculus. Frankly, he didn't care at all about Baekhyun’s grades, but it was nice to have an excuse to study during lunchtime.

Tao's head was on Baekhyun's lap, with the latter only allowing it because Tao's head was too heavy to get off, or so he said. Baekhyun had been talkative all day, and that meant he was excited about something. "I should get a job like you, Jongdae. I still haven't bought The Sims 4 and I've been dying to play it. Also, y'all should try out for the incoming sports fest."

With the instant change of topic, none of them really caught it. Baekhyun had to repeat himself.

Yixing's ears perked up. "You're one of the organizers, right? Show off," he added.

Baekhyun grinned, smug and exuberant. "We have a good chance of beating the third years. Especially in the soccer department, with Luhan on our side"--Jongdae rolled his eyes at that--"and a lot of the best players have graduated already or are in our year." Baekhyun sighed, his voice suddenly becoming pleading. "The tryouts are today so you better get your asses moving."

Jongdae got up to leave before this got out of hand. A.K.A him getting coerced into joining.

Tao's head snapped in his direction. "Oh yeah, Jongdae. We want you joining the relay." He sat up and Baekhyun's smile faltered. "You're not getting out of it this time."

Jongdae knew running away was futile for Tao was always the slightly better runner. Tao raised an eyebrow, waiting for an answer. It wasn't a 'yes or no' option. It was a 'yes or get mauled by me'.

"But wait!" Chanyeol was shocked. "You can run?! Why didn't you tell me?"

"Obviously because you never asked." Jongdae turned to Tao. "Alright, let's deal with this the hard way."

Tao's eyes flashed. A kittenish devil smile rested on his face. "You sure?"

Everyone groaned, except Chanyeol who was looking panicked and scared.

Jongdae's eyes flared. He cracked his head to the side, and a bone popped. He was going to win like always. Tao stood up to get in level with him (not really he was looking down at Jongdae's small stature). Jongdae looked at his eyes. Rock.

In a second, Jongdae made his hands form a paper. Tao's hand, who wore a lot of rings and accessories, was unsurprisingly a rock. Tao facepalmed while Jongdae huffed.

"Once again Jongdae showing his psychic abilities." Baekhyun's tone made it sound like they had witnessed this before. He looked annoyed. "Guess we're not winning in relay after all."

Tao looked aggrieved. "Hey, you still have me!"

Chanyeol looked disappointed, too. "Not fair. I want to see you run. For me, please?"

He should have learned by now that approach didn't work on Jongdae. "The answer is no." Jongdae sized Chanyeol up, eager to just change the topic of conversation. "Why don't you try for Basketball?"

Chanyeol was easily so swayed. "Me?! Uhm... I... I'm not sure." He scratched the back of his head, displaying his armpit hair through the short-sleeved shirt. "Yeah... um... if you think..."

"You're perfect for it, Chanyeol!" Baekhyun seemed ecstatic at the idea, at least. "Kris Wu is going to have competition."

"You can do it." Jongdae nodded. "Besides, that Kris Wu guy is becoming unbearable." Not really. Jongdae didn't even know the guy. He just knew he was that guy in third year with big hands and an even bigger fanclub he himself had founded. But god knew it'd only take a little push to get Chanyeol's gears moving.

"Alright." Chanyeol closed his eyes to make it look like he was making a hard decision. "But only because you asked me to."

Beside Tao, Yixing laughed, forgetting about the book he was studying. "You should give him a kiss after this. You guys haven't done that at least once, right?"

Jongdae immediately stiffened, and so did Jongin beside Yixing. No one else noticed but them. Chanyeol looked down at the floor.

Jongdae's expression softened. "Only if he wins."

He really shouldn't have lifted Chanyeol's hopes.

If Yixing sensed the tension, he didn't say so. "Well, that's good! I'm joining the Archery team anyway. Let's go. Chanyeol? Tao?"

They all left to go sign up for their respective sports, with Baekhyun at their heels. Chanyeol left with some ounce of determination inside him.

Now all alone, Jongdae spared a glance at Jongin. The other didn't seem to want to talk to him, which was rude considering they had this connection now. But Jongin had always been quiet so Jongdae knew he shouldn't take personal offense.

A swift wind ruffled Jongdae's hair, but even the annoying fringe couldn't keep his eyes away from Jongin. He was still weighing the options he had with this guy. It didn't sit well with him that someone knew his secret. He needed Jongin close.

Full of distrust, he threw a smile at Jongin's direction. "Jongin. Want to come over to this bookshop I work at?"

Jongin, surprised that Jongdae had talked to him, blinked a few times before answering. "Um sure..." His eyes were downcast.

He doesn't want to look at me, Jongdae noted with distaste.

"If you're..." Jongin continued. "...worried about the touching thing.. I-"

"-course not. I trust you." There was a gleam in Jongdae's eye as he stared Jongin down. His lips curled into an even more deadlier smile.

Jongin got up. "Why? You uh, barely know me?"

"We could always change that."

»

To no one's surprise, Chanyeol got accepted in the second year basketball team for the sports fest. Jongdae barely saw him from then on. The other would always practice during his free time on the court, spewing venom about Kris Wu when he had kicked out Chanyeol for his team's turn to practice. Chanyeol promised that he would make up for the lost time with Jongdae just as soon as he won this thing. Jongdae found his confidence inspiring.

"I'm touched," said Jongdae one afternoon after watching Chanyeol practice, sitting at the black cushions of the gym's bleachers. He handed Chanyeol a water bottle.

Chanyeol gratefully accepted it, pouring some into his mouth and some onto his head. "Guess I just don't want to disappoint you. Or it might also have to do with Kris Wu threatening to destroy my team. But mostly the former."

»

The nightmares were getting worse. The images were so vivid that sometimes Jongdae was scared of waking up to reality, because then he would know they weren't so different from what he expected to find. He always heard the recurring sound of a gunshot. And a scream. Was it his? It sounded like a kid's.

"Jongdae!" He awoke to the sound of his mother screaming in his face. "You... you were having a nightmare."

Jongdae immediately seized the blankets which he had kicked onto the floor. He glanced at the door that was wide open. "How'd you get in here?" he asked.

"The door was unlocked, sweetie." His mother's eyes looked deranged. For a fleeting moment, Jongdae mistook her for a monster, mistaking the hand reaching out to him for talons. "Are you alright?"

Breathing hard, he nodded his head. He’d forgotten to lock the door. Jongdae's eyes flashed with anger at his mother, who took a step back at his expression. He sighed. "Go back to sleep, Mom. I'm fine."

Behind the door, Jongdeok's head emerged. He mouthed the word "freak" before disappearing.

"And please," requested Jongdae. "Lock the door on your way out."

He couldn't sleep any more after that, eyes trained on the door.

»

"What happened to that book I bought you?" Jongdae sat across from Jongin, crossing his legs under the table. The waitress, just in time, brought the ordered mugs of tea to the table of the two bespectacled teenagers. Like Jongdae, Jongin wasn't an avid fan of coffee.

Jongin didn't look up from his book as he answered. "Uh... that. I haven't started reading it yet because I still have to finish... this one." It was a Bernard Weber book, entitled in French. Jongdae had never read a book by the guy so he couldn't provide much about the topic.

They were hanging around at the coffee shop next door, the first time Jongdae had ever been. Junmyeon wouldn't let any of his workers go and buy from there, for some weird, unknown reason. If they did so, they would be deemed as traitors. But Junmyeon's threats were naught to Jongdae. It was his break time, anyway.

Jongdae removed his coat, stretching his cramped arms. The coffee shop was as busy as ever, with its business booming. Maybe that was why Junmyeon hated it. Jongdae stirred his tea, dying to ask the question. "Do you have no interest in sports?"

Jongin immediately got what he was talking about. "I didn't... join because my dancing always comes first. I have to practice this piece for next year's stage." He took a gulp of his scalding hot tea, then leaned back in the chair, avoiding Jongdae's eyes.

Jongin danced? "Next year? That's awfully early to start preparing." But then again Jongdae shouldn't talk. He had always finished reading textbooks through before the school year started.

Jongin looked out the window, to the crowded street. A dog being restrained by a collar barked in Jongdae's direction. Dazed, Jongin replied, "dancing is very important to me. I can't stop 'til I master the piece."

Jongdae sipped his tea, the sun glistening on his face through the glass panel. He looked at Jongin, oddly feeling jealous at how even Jongin's skin managed to be delicately beautiful in the sun. He didn't really know this person but it was unfair that he knew the thing closest to Jongdae. Well, second closest.

Jongin had never spared Moomin sprawled across Jongdae's lap much of a glance and he was thankful for that. He was determined to strip Jongin down bit by bit. Jongdae would soon know him like the back of his hand.

But he also had priorities. Someone else came first.

»

Jongdae used the charming smile he had practiced so much to the girl beside him. The girl, with the blond hair and captivating blue eyes, swooned. Her name was Wendy; a foreign name, but he was sure she was Korean, if those parents sitting next to his were her real parents.

True to her word, his mother had invited her boss' family to dinner, and the main course was Jongdae. They ate him up in delight, asking questions left and right about the sureness of his future and just how charming he must be to be the talk of the town.

All Jongdae wanted was to escape. To get rid of this suffocating suit he had to put on and the scrutiny of this family he couldn't care less about. Jongdeok was nowhere to be found even at this 'family dinner'. Jongdae couldn't help glaring at his mother in an accusing way. It was all her fault anyway, why this family fell to pieces.

Taking everything away from him... then bringing it back again, they had expected it to be enough compensation. At least there was Moomin, the only fixation in his life no one COULD take away.

"You've been quiet." The melodious voice brought him back to the distorted reality.

"More treacle tart?" offered Jongdae. The girl gobbled up his charm so easily. She had giggled at everything he said, even at the ones that weren’t even supposed to be funny.. Wendy was older than him by 3 years, a college student at some performing arts school. Nonetheless, she looked at Jongdae all evening like he was of higher status. Jongdae was not going to complain about that.

"What're you planning for college?" she asked, pink lips turned into a smile.

"I'm thinking political science. I-" A hand grazed his under the white linen of the tablecloth. Wendy just smiled even higher, massaging his hand in a comfortable way. "I've been thinking about it for a while now." He retreated his hand back gracefully. She didn't even notice.   
  


He lasted the dinner by putting on his most alluring persona, never lifting his right hand again. It was burning and twitching so much under the table they'd think he was a freak if they saw. Jongdae got Wendy's number, though he never asked for it. His mom was guaranteed of the promotion she wanted, the main goal of this whole event anyway.

Upstairs, a faint sobbing could be heard from behind one of the doors. He felt that surge of anger at his mother again as he ignored the sound and went straight to the bathroom.

He took one look at his hand and he saw the dirtiest thing he had ever laid eyes on.

»

Jongdae had to wear gloves the next day.

»

"I don't believe that's a knife wound," Chanyeol said under the glare of the sun. He had his curly orange hair tied up in a bun, leaving some long strands at the side of his face. He would pass as cute if he wasn't imitating a bear with his expression right now.

The topic he was referring to, of course, was the sudden appearance of white cotton gloves on Jongdae's hands. Jongdae had said it was a knife wound he was covering and left it at that. He shooed Chanyeol off, and Chanyeol's eyes widened at the red circle spots on his right glove. "Don't you have a basketball game to win?"

Today was the sports fest, another one of those events the school held to distract the students with. Banners and streamers were everywhere, with most of the people supporting the third years. Jongdae sat himself at the front row of the gymnasium bleachers, just so he could watch Chanyeol's every move.

The game started and the whole gymnasium cheered. Chanyeol was in stealth mode, sneaking up on the opponent to steal their ball and pass it off to his teammates. He was good all right, but was he a match for Kris Wu?

"We love you Kris!" a couple of girls behind Jongdae screamed, complete with pompoms.

It got heated around the second quarter. Some of the girls jumped ship and were now cheering for that 'handsome tall guy with long hair and big ears'. Jongdae tried not to let his smile show, feeling a swell of pride that Chanyeol was his and HIS alone.

The second years didn't win the game, sadly. Kris Wu had 'accidentally' bumped into Chanyeol when he had the ball on him. Chanyeol’s ankle injury meant he had to sit out, and he got booed by the third year crowd.

When all of the third years were done taking their celebratory pictures, they cleared the hall and Jongdae went over to Chanyeol, who was grimacing through the pain. Chanyeol didn't meet Jongdae's eyes. "So I guess no kiss for me, ahaha."

"You did your best."

Seeing Jongdae smile at him and give him a few words of comfort, Chanyeol's mood had lifted. Jongdae helped him get to the infirmary, too. But that was reaching because all Jongdae did was  give him moral support, telling him encouraging words while Chanyeol had to struggle to walk. He supposed he should feel bad he couldn't help.

"You're so stupid!" A familiar voice shouted from inside the infirmary. Jongdae had no doubt that it belonged to their friend, Byun Baekhyun. "Why am I friends with you?!"

Once they got inside they saw Tao bedridden, his leg cast suspended. Tao was taking every single thing Baekhyun was throwing at him, which was unusual. Baekhyun had his hands on his hips, red in the face from anger. A couple of patients were staring at them, clearly so bored that they needed to butt into other people's business.

Baekhyun saw them. "Look here. This shouting is completely justified. I was shouting for Zitao to stop running already, because he had landed on his foot the wrong way, but this motherfucker-!" He raised his fist and Tao protected his head in alarm. "-just had to ignore my pleas and now it got worse. I think he won't be able to run for awhile."

"What? Is that true, Tao?" Chanyeol looked on worriedly. "That's not good."

"It was completely necessary," Tao mumbled.

Baekhyun shut him up with a glare.

"This always happens anyway," Tao continued.

"And it has to be stopped! You're going overboard with your injuries. Your dad had warned you that you’re off the team if you get one more!"

"Stop now, Baekhyun," Jongdae said, getting in his way. "Tao needs a break from your loud whining."

That set something off in Baekhyun and he almost went for Jongdae, fist curled up behind him. Chanyeol dove in front of them just in time, which earned him an agonizing pain from his ankle. Baekhyun turned to him and shook his head. "I'm going to look for the nurse."

Jongdae swept his hair back, sweat dripping from both sides of his face. "Honestly, this is a sports fest. People are bound to get hurt."

Tao's voice cracked as he said, "It's my fault. I wanted to impress him. But it just came back to bite me in the ass." He frowned, looking at his suspended leg. If what Baekhyun had said was true, Tao's relay dreams were over. He had never met Tao's dad but knew he was overprotective of his son... just like someone else he knew.

"Well!" gushed Chanyeol. "You should say that to him!"

But Tao only furrowed his brows, pouting uncharacteristically. He was clearly not confessing his feelings any time soon.

A little while later, after getting Chanyeol settled in a bed, Jongdae excused himself to the bathroom. He quickly removed his bloodied gloves and put his bleeding hand under the tap water.

Patience, Jongdae. You'll get what you want soon.

His face in the mirror changed. It wasn't him anymore. It wasn't in perfect condition just like it used to be. His eyebags had gotten heavier and a pimple lay under his chin, red and noticeable.

He was ugly.

Jongdae punched the mirror in a bout of irritation, and his hand started bleeding once again in different places. He got the rubbing alcohol from inside his bag and poured half of its contents onto his injured hand. It stung but the pain couldn't be compared to the disappointment of looking at his face.

What was going to happen to him when people found him ugly instead? Jongdae's fist clenched at the thought, not caring anymore at how it hurt. He replaced the gloves, put on a calm serene smile, and exited the bathroom.

He had no interest in going back to the infirmary, so instead he left to do an early shift at work. Junmyeon would like that. He always liked having Jongdae around, he could tell. On his way Jongdae passed by the soccer field and saw the second year soccer team celebration. Luhan was hugging Minseok and a few of his teammates.

Wanting to pay them no mind, he hurried past them, hoping not to get noticed. But alas, Luhan spotted him with some devil's power and waved. Jongdae’s calm smile dropped, but when he saw Minseok running in Luhan's wake, he put it right back in place.

"Congratulations, I guess?"

Minseok smiled, rat-like. "Thank you. It was an easy win. Minho might be against us but I know his weakness. They had nothing against Luhan and me." He slung an arm over Luhan's shoulder.

Well, that was a lot of info Jongdae didn't need to know. "Did you need something?" he asked Luhan.

"Yeah." He gently removed Minseok's arm. "Can I talk to you privately?"

Jongdae raised an eyebrow at that but didn't say anything. Minseok, realizing he was the only one preventing Luhan's request, gave one last cheerful wave before running off to the others.

For some shady and totally suspicious reason, Luhan led him to the locker room. Really odd choice of place, but if Luhan did try anything he'd be in the bed next to Chanyeol and Tao. Some of the shower taps were still running and Jongdae assumed there were still some people there anyway. Nice choice of a 'private' place.

"What?" asked Jongdae impatiently.

"What were you doing at Chanyeol's?"

Jongdae gave him a deadpan stare. "Yes... because what I'm doing at my boyfriend's house is your concern, isn't it?"  
  


Luhan shook his head, then stepped forward into his personal space. Jongdae inwardly cursed. His foot stepped in a puddle, which wet his leather shoes and slacks. "That's not what I'm talking about. You see... I was at his house the other day. He told me all about you not wanting me to disturb your study date. I admire Chanyeol and his babbling mouth, really. It was your birthday actually. He didn't even know it was your birthday, the poor thing. I went outside to explore the forest and I saw someone who eerily looked just like you! He even had the same doll with him. Oh, he seemed so peaceful sleeping that I just couldn't wake him up. Care to explain?"

Jongdae's jaw hardened. Luhan had seen him? And he had watched him sleep? Just how creepy was that? He laughed at Luhan mockingly the next second. "Why would I want to explain to you? You're nothing to me. Stay away from me and Chanyeol."

Luhan raised his arm and trapped Jongdae's smaller form on the wall. "I tried to play nice, Jongdae. But... you won't give me what I want." His minty breath passed through Jongdae's nostrils until he felt like puking.

"What do you want?" Jongdae already knew, though.

"You," answered Luhan. "And answers. But mostly you."

They both stopped when some of the boys got out of their stalls and changed. Luhan had locked them both in the cubicle for good measure. He smirked at Jongdae, wanting to know how he would react.

Jongdae pierced him with a glare. "I want nothing to do with you. You may get your disgusting self off me now. I have far more important things to do. And the list doesn't include you."

Luhan let him go. "I'll go tell Chanyeol," he threatened.

For the first time, Jongdae smiled at Luhan genuinely. "It's cute how you think I care about that." He left Luhan with more questions than answers.

»

One week later, Jongdae lay in bed, giddy with excitement. He had never felt more alive than now. He hugged Moomin close to his chest. "Nothing will be the same after today. And that thought alone makes me happy."

His hand twitched then curled. He was dying to do something. But no, he had to wait for the right time today. He was on a schedule.

The birds outside chirped, the trees swayed, both singing a song to him. Everything was so full of life. Oh, the irony.

»

"You don't have any idea where he is?" Baekhyun's nasal voice rang through the phone. Jongdae’s best friend needed to tone it down sometimes, really. But he'd forgive it for now since it was a time of crisis.

Chanyeol closed the door to the bookshop, the annoying sound of bells jingling (his face almost bumped into them). His boyfriend wasn't there either. Where the fuck was Jongdae? He had promised that today was special. That he'd be preparing something for Chanyeol today. One month ago today they had started dating, and now he was gone.

"Do you know where he lives?" he asked, trying not to sound desperate but he really was. He couldn't believe he was near tears already just because Jongdae hadn't been answering his calls or texts. Maybe he was overreacting. Maybe Jongdae was just busy somewhere. And had... forgotten... Chanyeol.

He was being a needy boyfriend right now but fuck if he cared.

"No, I don't know!" Baekhyun cried. "None of us know! You know how he is with his privacy. Have you tried going to the bookshop? I'll give you the address."

"Yeah, they didn't have any idea either." A spark of irritation flew through his head. And to make it worse, Chanyeol just remembered that Junmyeon guy, who was supposed to be the boss of Jongdae, glaring at him like it was his fault Jongdae was missing. "He's not... answering anything..." his voice cracked. "Y'know what, Baek, I'll just... I'm upset right now. Clearly Jongdae forgot about me. I'll just drink to my sorrows."

"Okay, no, Chanyeol, stop! Don't cry, dumbass. He's just... sleeping in late," Baekhyun excused. Chanyeol looked up at the setting sky, the sky turning an orange hue. He doubted Jongdae would still be sleeping in until this time of the day. "He knows it's your important day, right?"

Chanyeol was going to answer, but then his phone died. Great. Wonderful. This had been an amazing day so far.

If Jongdae didn't want to spend today with him, fine. Seems like he was disillusioned to think this was as important to Jongdae as it was for him. It seemed just like yesterday when Jongdae had asked him, out of the blue, and dammit, Chanyeol didn't want this unwelcomed trip down memory lane right now.

The roar of the motorbike he had borrowed from his dad drowned his tears together with the storm that just started pouring down. Why was he acting like such a kid? Jongdae would be disappointed. And then maybe Jongdae would break up with him, deciding to dump his clingy, demanding ass.

At home, Chanyeol went straight to kitchen and grabbed two bottles of beer he was sure his dad would spank him for taking.

To add insult to the injury, he stopped at the river, the place he and Jongdae held special. He appreciated the loudness of the river and the storm. Chanyeol took one big gulp of the beer and almost puked. This shit was nasty. It had been too long since he had one of these.

"I hate you, Jongdae! I love you!" he cackled. "If you were here you'd be saying how stupid I am to get drunk over for something like this! But you'd comfort me anyway!" He shouted, and the only the thunder gave a response. "...If you were here..." he breathed, hard. "Where are you, Jongdae?"

He finished the bottle and threw it in the river. The current dragged it away without any concern for him or his misery.

But it was really something trivial to get drunk about. He had been disappointed by far worse things. Like the game where he didn't earn Jongdae's kiss, or the fact that they hadn't actually kissed yet. He was starting to think Jongdae didn't want him at all, or something. They hadn't touched... they hadn't done anything remotely sweet with each other.

But still he loved that small guy just the same. Why was he even reevaluating his relationship with him anyway? They'd only been together for one month... he was so demanding, god. And Jongdae hated dramatic and overreacting people. If only Jongdae could hear him now.

If only... If only...

»

"Mother, you love me right?" The low voice spoke from behind the trunk of the tree, his hoodie hugging him from being soaked in the rain. The reception was low, the storm unexpected. Joingdae didn't want anyone to hear him, not here, not now.

"O-of course," the voice on the other end of the line said, stuttering. "You're my son, Jongdae! What brought this on? And where are you?"

A bolt of lightning followed by a rumble of thunder passed. Jongdae let the raindrops cloud his glasses. "What do you mean, mother?" he asked, innocent. He needed this to work. "I'm at the house," he continued with a mocking tone. "Dinner's just about to get served. Who are we having dinner with this time? I'm sure Jongdeok won't appreciate getting locked up again at his room. He's ugly when he cries."

"Jongdae!" His mother is aghast. He can picture her clutching her heart dramatically for effect. "What-"

"-I love you too, Mother. Your sweet breadwinner loves you so much." He hung up before she could reply, deleting his mother's contact. Jongdae trekked down the dirt path he had made himself familiarize with. Even in the dark, he could see the object he was searching for, its edge glinting.

"You're a beauty," he said to it, his gloved hands wrapping around the wood under its head.

Jongdae now followed the roaring sound, his heart thumping inside his chest. It was a shame that the mud was doing a good job getting his newly-bought shoes dirty. But he'd cleanse himself later.

The figure he had expected to be there was laying down the ground, unmoving yet still breathing. Jongdae trotted towards him, stopping beside the boulder they always hang out on. Bottles of beer were laid on top, all empty. He shook his head, dropping what he was holding down the ground. He nudged Chanyeol with his muddy foot. "Chanyeol. Chanyeol!"

The other grunted in response, eyes opening slowly. When his vision had cleared and he registered the rain falling down on him, he sat right up. He noticed Jongdae but he didn't say anything.

"What are you doing?" Jongdae didn't bother sounding disappointed. "Getting drunk out here in the rain? You could get sick."

Nose crinkling, Chanyeol glared at Jongdae. "What are you doing here, Jongdae?"

"Look," he said, exasperated. "I'm sorry, I forgot. I was too busy study-"

"-Sorry if I'm not as important as that!" Chanyeol drunkenly slurred. He kicked the soiled ground in anger, sending some of it on Jongdae's pants. Chanyeol spotted Moomin on his hands. "You brought that thing with you?" he said with contempt.

Jongdae didn't let the spark of irritation get the best of him. "Moomin and I... want to say sorry."

If anything, Chanyeol only glared at him harder.

He knelt down to Chanyeol's level, eyes swimming in warmth and apology. "What can I do to make it up to you?" He let the words roll slowly off his tongue. He was almost certain he knew what Chanyeol would answer.

Even though the rain's pitter patter clouded his lenses, he could clearly see Chanyeol's face softening. He let his head hung low beside Jongdae's shoulder, inches from physical contact. Chanyeol smelled of dust and wet soil. "Touch me, Jongdae."

There was a desperate look on his face, to which Jongdae frowned at. He put Moomin away beside him, giving it one last stare before gently pushing Chanyeol back to the ground, the latter's eyes widening.

Jongdae touched Chanyeol's face, caressing it, the ugly lurch inside his stomach lurching.

"Without your gloves," Chanyeol demanded.

"I can't," Jongdae reasoned. His breath hitched, his hand froze on Chanyeol's jaw. "It hurts for me."

Chanyeol looked confused at that, growing impatient.

Jongdae's fingers trailed inside Chanyeol's shirt, both of them trembling. "You want me to do whatever I want with you?" he whispered, almost stuttering. Jongdae was just as nervous as Chanyeol was.

The other looked at him with half-lidded eyes, nodding profusely.

If he wants it that much... Jongdae turned around, nodding at Moomin.

The doll, inanimate a few seconds ago, sprang to life as the next lightning sparked. His blue eyes met Jongdae's dark ones, and Moomin wasted no time grabbing the bearded axe Jongdae had dropped earlier.

The storm drowned out Chanyeol's scream as the first strike slashed him where Jongdae's hand was supposed to be. Jongdae looked around wildly, eyes widening and lips cracking into a wide-toothed grin. The blood had stained his face and torso but that was the least of his worries right now.

Blood started spurting out from Chanyeol's stomach and mouth. "W-wha-" he tried to talk. Tried. "J-Jong-"

"Shh." Jongdae put a finger to his lips, followed by manic laughter. Chanyeol's bodily fluids dripping from his chin, he said, "You look so beautiful right now, Chanyeollie. Chanyeollie... didn't you want me to call you that? Chanyeollie, Chanyeollie, Chanyeollie!"

Moomin was getting impatient. He had waited long for this to happen.

"He's getting antsy..." Jongdae mumbled, watching as Chanyeol tried to wrench free from his hold while hacking from his mouth. "Let me touch you again." Jongdae bit his lip as he touched both of Chanyeol's long legs. Moomin took the sign, getting rid of those limbs. Jongdae basked in the beauty as he watched. He had wanted nothing more than to do this the first time they met. The wait almost killed him.

"Jong--!” --hack-- “--stop! P-please... What are you d-aggh!" There went both of his arms.

"I'm not doing anything," Jongdae simply remarked, thinking where to touch Chanyeol next. "Now be quiet and don't disturb Moomin."

That was then, that Chanyeol had looked at him for the first time like he had gone crazy. It was the last time their eyes would ever meet. Tears were overflowing apart from the blood, and it sounded so sweet to Jongdae's ears. It never tasted so sweet to see him like this.

It was messy. There was so much blood, but that's what they always said would happen on your first time.

Jongdae was still shaking, and Moomin momentarily dropped the axe. His hand closed in on Chanyeol's neck, who screamed so much Jongdae thought the whole forest could hear. "Also..." he wiped the mixture of sweat and tears. "You're very handsome, Chanyeol. But also irritating. I never wanted someone dead so badly... I never liked you, nor have I loved you." With that, he let go of Chanyeol's neck.

A clean sweep and Moomin ended it all. Chanyeol's head rolled away, and Jongdae was a little sad to see it go. Chanyeol had left him with a parting gift, though. His hoodie was not only soaked from the rain, but Chanyeol's blood was splattered all over, marking Jongdae.

He was so proud of Moomin that he let the doll to the job of gathering up Chanyeol's dismembered parts and putting them all into trash bags. Jongdae watched affectionately, adrenaline still not leaving him. God forbid he was going to touch Chanyeol after that. No one was worthy of his touch, anyway. The blood on his hands had rinsed him of his dirt.

The river gladly drank in the trash bags, washing it away with its strong current.

»

It would be a scary sight to behold, if you saw a person carrying a bloodied axe and a doll in the other hand walking slowly as the light from his phone illuminated his face, which was torn between a smile and a frown. But he was careful, knew enough of this neighborhood to be aware where the shortcuts were.

The axe made the ominous sound of screeching as Jongdae dragged it along the asphalt, like nails on a chalkboard. It didn't stop until he gave it to his mother's arms, who was waiting at the back door.

His mother almost dropped it, whole body trembling in fear.

"Careful there," Jongdae said, licking his lips and tasting something not his.

She also took Moomin away in a second. "G-Go to your...room."

Jongdae eyed his mother, who now had bloodstained hands. He threw her one last smirk before ushering himself into the living room, leaving behind a trail of muddy tracks. The fire in the fireplace was fortunately still running as Jongdae discarded his gloves and all of his clothes. The smell of burnt cotton wafted through the air, and Jongdae felt like a man reborn.

His mother buried her face in her hands, sobbing softly after throwing the clean yet wet doll in the washer.

Jongdae was still somewhat cackling as he buried himself under the sheets in his bed. Something had awakened inside him, and he welcomed it with open arms. This was the real him.

TRACK 1 FINISHED  
  
---  
  
 

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for that.
> 
> Here's my [curiouscat](http://curiouscat.me/chenstagram). For questions and other reactions.
> 
>  
> 
> [PART TWO HERE](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7675936/)


End file.
